


Requests *open*

by iTookJiminsJams



Series: K-POP angst [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), SHINee, Stray Kids (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), TheBoyz - Fandom, WAYV, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Eric Sohn Sick, Eric hurt, Fluff and Angst, Haechan angst, Hongjoong sick, Jisung injury, Jungwoo angst, Jungwoo sad, Kai and Taemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Is The Sun, Lee Mark exhausted, Mark angst, Mark si sick, Mentioned Kim Hongjoong, Minor Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Park Jisung (NCT)-centric, Sick Character, Sickfic, Soft Kim Jungwoo (NCT), Tao sick, Tao sickfic, eric is sick, hongjoong migraine, they don't believe him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:46:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 43,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26017495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iTookJiminsJams/pseuds/iTookJiminsJams
Summary: So basically this is a series, you can make your requests in here. You can request anything regarding angst, sickfic, etc etc. Further explanation is given in...well...the first chapter?
Series: K-POP angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888396
Comments: 161
Kudos: 323





	1. Chapter 1

Request specs: 

1\. You can request anything related to angst, sickfic, fluff, etc etc.  
2\. You can request any group ( I’m not too familiar with girl groups but I can always do some research)  
3\. I don’t do AU (I just don’t know how to write them and...I don’t really like them) but, if there’s an Au that’s highly requested I’ll consider it.  
That’s all 😅


	2. All 11 of them (Tao)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tao is sick but his hyungs are there for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy 💕

Tao woke up feeling...weird. He was heavy and felt like he had eaten a thousand rocks and then gone to sleep. His head felt like someone had tucked cotton inside his brain and it hurt. He let out a pained groan as a cramp hit his stomach, he was feeling truly awful, his head had started spinning as soon as he made the motion to stand up so he decided to stay in his bed and wait for his stomach to stop doing somersaults. 

When he thought he was feeling good enough to stand up, or at least when he didn’t feel that the second he stood up he would pass out, he moved to Kris’s bed looking for some comfort for his cramping stomach and a spinning head. To his disappointment, the older wasn’t in his bed and after focusing for a bit he noticed noises coming out of the bathroom, Tao must have been too concentrated on his pain to notice that the shower was running, right, they had a concert to do today, they had some interviews to attend to but Tao had a bathroom to run to because he was sure he would throw up any second now.

He stood up from the older’s bed and knocked on the bathroom door praying to the gods that Kris could hear how desperate he was and let him in. “Gege please open up, I don’t feel good” Tao said trying to get Kris’ attention but it was to no avail, he could feel the bile rising up his throat and he started to knock on the door harder knowing that if he stayed there he would ruin the room’s carpet. 

After some more knocking and some “please let me in” here and there, the shower stopped and the door opened revealing a very confused Kris, but Tao had no time to appreciate his ge’s features, pushing Kris out of the way he made his way to the toilet as fast as he could, dropped to his knees while opening the lid and threw up probably everything he had eaten the past week, at least that’s how Tao felt it. 

Kris stood there for a bit, not knowing exactly what was happening. Vomit scent filled his nostrils and that’s when he came back to reality, he kneeled down next to the youngest and started rubbing, what he expected to be, soothing circles on Tao’s back in hopes of calming him down. Tao felt like his insides where being torn apart, one round after another, bile kept rising up his throat and his stomach didn’t seem to let up any time soon. Kris kept telling him that it was going to be ok but Tao really doubted it, he couldn’t see the end to this torture, and the pain just became worse by the second. 

Tao had started crying in the middle of the whole thing and was now driving himself into a state of panic and Kris knew he had to do something. He picked to youngest’s hands into his and hugged him tightly while telling him to breathe “Breathe baby, it’s going to be ok, ssshh” Kris kept repeating those same words and at some point, they started working because Tao had started breathing normally and his once sobs had become silent hiccups and more importantly, he no longer felt like he was dying. 

Pressed against his ge’s chest he could feel his breathing, his heartbeat and he could hear how he whispered sweet nothings to his ear and suddenly the pain felt just like background noise, no longer pressing him down to the floor and finally feeling at peace, he allowed himself to sleep in the older’s embrace. 

Once Kris was sure that Tao was asleep, he carried him back to the room and laid him down on his bed. Now that Kris paid attention, Tao was shivering, he was sure he had turned the AC off, it was actually pretty warm inside the house and then he decided to check Tao’s forehead, as expected, the youngest was warm, warmer than he was supposed to be. Quickly he changed into his clothes remembering he had come out of the shower with nothing more than a towel and once he was ready he went on a mission to find the thermometer he knew they had somewhere in the dorm. 

Once outside his room, Kris was welcomed with the scent of pancakes, Kyungsoo had probably cooked and honestly, they smelled delicious but at the moment he was on a more important mission than eating, trying to cure his didi. 

He stepped into the living room where most of the members were already chatting and fooling around. He must’ve looked really worried because the second he entered the room Suho approached him with a concerned looked on his face.

“Hey hey, what’s wrong? Where’s Tao?” yeah, that was the problem, Tao was...kind of dead, or at least Kris perceived it that way. “Tao is sick and he started throwing up and I’m pretty sure he has a fever so I’m looking for a thermometer” his calm facade he always carried was long gone, too worried for the younger to care about looking calm and composed. 

Before he could say anything more, Sehun was already heading to their room and Suho was already looking for the thermometer, Baekhyun had occupied himself on wetting towels to put on Tao’s forehead for his fever, Chan was heading to their room with a bucket and some medicine and Kris just found it slightly funny how everyone had gone into protective mode in less than two minutes. 

“I’ll call management so that they know what’s going on,” Kris said to no one in particular but rather for everyone in the room. He didn’t think Tao would be able to do the concert or the interviews but they would have to see what the company thought. He went into the hallway and made the call, he was expecting some understanding you know, an “Of course! We can let him rest today” but no, he received an exasperated sigh and a “He can miss the interviews but he has to do the concert” and then nothing, they had hung up on him. To say that he was angry was an understatement, he was furious, how did they expect Tao to do the concert when he could barely stand up. These people were going to kill him someday, and if they didn’t kill him..he would kill them. 

Kris was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his name being called from the other side of the house, from his room to be more specific. He ran to where the sound was coming from to find some dirty sheets, a vomit-covered Tao and Sehun, and a very apologetic Tao trying to say something behind his tears. 

Carefully, Kris approached the sick boy, he gave a smile to Sehun meaning that it was ok, that he would handle it from there and that he could go clean up, many meanings for a smile, but the point was that the boy understood. Sehun patted his fellow maknae’s head one last time and left the boys alone. 

“I didn’t mean to ruin your bed ge. I was asleep and then I just got sick, I’m sorry” Tao said while crying and speaking some sort of konese (Korean–Chinese) that even Kris had a hard time understanding but he knew that the poor boy must have been too overwhelmed to think in proper Korean.

Kris wasn’t mad at all, right now his first priority was to clean the boy up and make sure he was ok. “It’s ok baby, it’s ok, now don’t cry,” Kris said while he carefully caressed the younger’s head, Tao seemed to relax a bit but then his face went pale and Kris knew what was happening so he picked the bucket Chen had brought earlier and placed it under the younger’s chin. 

Tao gagged and coughed but nothing seemed to come out, he felt extremely nauseous and the pain in his stomach was starting to become unbearable but for some reason, his body decided that he would not be throwing up. “Don’t hold it, it’s going to be ok, I’m right here with you yeah?” Tao understood that but he really wasn’t holding it, at least not intentionally, he just couldn’t seem to bring anything up, until he did. 

He felt liquid coming up his throat and suddenly he was getting sick all over again but this time, it was only acid, he had thrown up everything before and the acid was hurting his throat. He wanted it to stop but he couldn’t, his stomach cramped with every wave of sick that rushed out of his body and it seemed like he would be like this forever. Kris kept his hair out of the way and placed his hands on the other’s shoulders reassuringly until Tao got a break. He removed the bucket from under his chin and cleaned his mouth. It was then and there that Kris decided, fuck management, he was calling them later to say they wouldn’t be performing today, he wasn’t going to risk his didi’s health because of a concert. 

“You think you’re done?” Kris asked while trying to take the bucket away just for it to be grabbed by Tao and for the whole thing to start all over again, the poor boy only got a 5-minute break before his body was expelling all its contents once more. Kris felt powerless, he could do nothing but hold the boy tightly and reassure him that he was going to feel better even if he didn’t exactly believe it himself. 

Tao felt completely awful, round after round of sick left his body non–stop, he was shaking and cold and he wanted to cry because he was just in so much pain, but at least now, his body was giving him a break. Kris took the bucket away, threw its contents in the toilet, flushed it down, and came back to his crying didi. 

Tao was pulled into the older’s embrace while he cried, he couldn’t stop the tears just like he couldn’t stop the pain and he held Kris’ t-shirt like it was his life support. Kris held him and rocked him back and forth trying to bring some comfort to the sick boy. When Tao was calmer, he removed his and Tao’s T-shirt and put some new clothes on them, because as you may remember, Tao had previously thrown up all over himself and because Kris had hugged him, he was now dirty too. “Mum,” Tao said in no more than a whisper and Kris didn’t know whether he was calling for Suho, or if his fever was starting to make him a bit delusional, anyway, the only one he could help with at the moment was bringing Suho, the leader was probably still looking for the thermometer and that reminded Kris of the fact that they really had to organise things better around the dorm.

Just as Kris was going to call Suho, he came in the room, thermometer in hand and tired expression on his face, the older had probably been looking for that thermometer like crazy and Kris found the image quite funny until a whimper was heard from beneath him, or rather, from inside his arms. Tao had a pained expression adorning his face and had started squirming a bit while still calling for “Mum”. Both, Suho and Kris looked at each other concerned, Kris could tell Tao’s temperature had risen in the past few minutes and he could hear his stomach rumbling beneath his hands. They had to give the boy some medicine, lower his fever, and...now that he thought about it, where the hell was Baekhyun with those wet towels.

As if on cue, Baekhyun entered the room with said towels, both leaders gave him a death glare and took the towels from his hands. Baekhyun stayed for a bit while they laid the sick boy down on Kris’ bed, placed a towel on his forehead, placed the thermometer in his ear, and waited for it to beep, 39.4ºC (103ºF).

“He’s burning up,” Baekhyun said while caressing the younger’s cheek. They were worried, none of the members had ever gotten that sick and Tao just seemed to get worse by the second. “If his fever doesn’t go down after giving him the medicine, we’re taking him to the hospital,” Kris said with a firm tone in his voice, the others agreed, they couldn’t let their maknae (at least ExoM maknae) get worse. 

After kissing the younger’s forehead, Baekhyun left the room leaving the two leaders inside. “He’s been calling for mum” Suho only hummed in response. They didn’t want to wake Tao up but they knew they had to give him some medicine. Suho slightly shook the younger trying to wake him up, Tao’s little eyes fluttered open, he looked kind of cute with his pink cheeks, slightly parted lips and fluttering eyes, they wanted to hug him and pinch his cheeks and say aaaawww but then, reality hit them like a truck. 

“Hi, baby, how’re you feeling?” Suho said trying to sound calm, a groan was everything he got in response, he caressed Tao’s hair and spoke again, “I’m going to give you some medicine ok?” and with that, he picked a glass of water and prepared some painkillers and fever reducers while Kris cleaned Tao’s face with another towel. 

Tao sat up with the older’s help and leaned in the wall. He stared at the pills that were given to him, he knew that he was probably going to throw them up later but he had to try right? Plus, he didn’t have enough energy to argue with his hyungs so he took a deep breath and took the pills with some water, he could already feel how the pills weighed heavy on his stomach and he let out a groan, it wasn’t exactly because of the pain, because yes, he was still in pain, but because he didn’t want to get sick again and the idea just scared him a bit. 

A desperate whine left his mouth and he looked at his gege, then at his hyung looking for some comfort from any of them. Quickly he was pulled into Suho’s embrace and shushed “Mum”, that’s probably the only word that had left Tao’s mouth the past hour but it was because he really needed Suho’s comfort, not that Kris’ wasn’t as good but, but...he was selfish and wanted comfort from both of them. 

He buried his face into Suho’s chest and breathed on his cologne, Kris had started cleaning his neck and back with some of the wet towels and Tao felt like he was in heaven, that was until he noticed how dirty he felt, his shirt was sticking to his skin and his bangs were all sweaty, his mouth probably smelled like vomit and now he was really thankful to his ge for changing his shirt before. “I need to shower,” he said, his voice hoarse from all the crying and getting sick. 

Kris carried him towards the shower while Suho filled the bathtub. “Do you want me to stay?’ Kris already knew the answer but he still had to ask just in case Tao’s ideas of showering with someone else had changed. The younger nodded weakly and Kris started removing his clothes, Tao was left in his underwear and once the bathtub was ready and Suho had left he removed that piece of clothing too and went inside the water. 

Kris cleaned his back, his hair, and arms all the while he hummed to some song he had heard on the radio. Tao enjoyed his gege’s touch and the water cleaning him up, it felt as if the soap was removing the sickness and he felt exponentially better. It could also be the pills doing their job but he decided to think it was his gege’s magic hands that were healing him. 

After he felt clean, he came out of the water, gave a last rinse with the shower, and came out. Suho had left some clean clothes inside the bathroom so that he wouldn’t have to go out and get cold. Kris helped him get dressed and carried him to their room. Tao was tired, he wanted to sleep but he didn’t want to be alone in the room so he decided he would lay down on the sofa that was in the living room. Kris didn’t quite like the idea at first because he knew how the members could be and were afraid they would bother the younger too much but seeing as the boy was so reluctant to stay in the room he had no choice but to carry the boy to the living room.

They hadn’t even gotten to the living room when Tao fell asleep in the older’s embrace. When they arrived, 10 pairs of eyes turned to them with concerned looks, Kris shushed them so that they wouldn’t wake Tao up and then laid him on top of Kyungsoo’s legs, slowly everyone sat around them in different positions, with different blankets and soon they were discussing what movie they would be watching. Eventually, Tao woke up to find his hyungs, and well, Sehun, asleep in a puddle of limbs, all connected to the other, every9one touched an arm, a face, a leg, a head, everyone had someone and Tao felt happy, even if he wasn’t feeling his best, he was happy because he had his brothers there, all 11 of them.


	3. He was in pain (Jungwoo hiatus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Yami28
> 
> Could you do something explaining when Jungwoo was on hiatus? Kind of like a sickfic or angst explaining why he started his hiatus and how the other members took care of him. Because we don't actually know why he left for a while, you could decide whether it was a physical (an injury) or mental (maybe because of the hate he got when he joined 127?) cause. Thank you so much uwu
> 
> Thank you for requesting this.

"Ok guys that's it for today, you can go home now" the dance teacher yelled across the room so that all 9 members could hear him. To say that Jungwoo was exhausted was an understatement, he had been going from dance practice to vocal practice to dance practice again for the past weeks and now he could no longer feel his throat or feet. "Except you Jungwoo, I need you to stay so that you can properly learn the choreographies" - excellent, just what Jungwoo needed. He was really starting to doubt that the decision of making him part of 127 was a good idea.

He turned around, left his bag on the floor once again, and placed himself in the middle of the practice room while he waited for the music to start. His arms and legs moved to the music but his mind was somewhere else, he knew he must have missed some steps but at that point, he couldn't really bring himself to care anymore, he was too exhausted to dance like he was supposed to.

Two hours later, he was finally heading home. His muscles were hurting, his head was pounding, his ears were buzzing because of the loud music and all he wanted to do was sleep.

He arrived at the dorms and was welcomed by darkness and nothing more, no sounds, no "Hello" or "How are you?" just, darkness. The pain in his muscles suddenly became nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart. His throat tightened, he wanted to cry so bad, why weren't his members there to welcome him, he knew he was late, he knew that the members were tired and he knew that he was being selfish but he had been just so tired this past week and he really wanted someone to comfort him, to tell him that he was enough and that his hard work would pay off, but nothing came. 

Slowly he retreated to his room where he found a sleeping Jaehyun. He took his clothes off and lied on his bed. Seeing as sleep was not coming for him, he decided he would be going on his phone for a bit until he felt tired enough, or at least until his body decided to sleep. Once he opened his phone, hundreds of notifications zoomed through it, he quickly lowered the volume and closed his eyes hoping that Jaehyun wouldn't have been awakened by the sound of the phone. 

After some minutes of silence, he opened his eyes again, checked on Jaehyun, and turned his phone on again. The culprit for the hundreds of notifications was his twitter. That was weird, he never got THAT many notifications. Something must be happening. 

Curiosity swept Jungwoo but as he opened Twitter and checked what was going on, his curiosity was replaced by a feeling of dread and disgust.

"He's so ugly, why is he even on the group?"

"He doesn't add anything to the team"

"The group would be better without him"

"Useless"

"No talent"

Jungwoo kept reading comments that seemed never-ending, one after another they attacked him. He knew he wasn't the best dancer or the best singer but... But he believed people would see how hard he was working, he just wanted to be enough, why couldn't he be enough?

Tears started running down his cheeks as he kept reading. The comments kept getting worse and there was apparently no light left for him so he cried, he let his tears flow like waterfalls, he wanted to scream and sob and let people know in how much pain he was but he couldn't, he was stuck in an "I'm fine" facade and he didn't know how to get out from there.

He cried himself to sleep with no one by his side, but his pillow and his phone and that's how he woke up, with puffy eyes and with no one but his phone and his pillow. When he opened his eyes Jaehyun wasn't there anymore. He must be having breakfast, Jungwoo thought, he should do too. He dressed on some decent clothes, made an attempt to comb his hair, and went out to have some breakfast.

The others were already there, they were chatting and fooling around and Jungwoo wanted to join them but he couldn't bring himself to smile as bright as them, to laugh as loud as them. They were having so much fun without him... "He isn't necessary, the group would be much better without him" - they were right, he was not necessary, he...he could disappear and no one would care.

While holding back his tears he picked a granola bar and a juice box and left to the dance studio, he ignored the glances everyone gave him and in less than 5 minutes, he was gone.

\-----------------------------------------

Taeyong was worried, he knew Jungwoo had been working extra hard this past month and that he must be really tired but he still worried. This past week Jungwoo barely talked, barely ate, barely anything, it was as if he was a zombie. He only opened his mouth when he had to sing and even then, his eyes seemed unfocused and sad.

Jungwoo has never been too talkative but you could always find him smiling or laughing with the others but now, you could barely see him. He was always in the dance studio and when he was home he never came out of his room, even Jaehyun found it hard to see the boy, and they shared rooms.

Taeyong thought Jungwoo might need some rest and after it, he would go back to normal so they took a day off, just the 9 of them at home, no dancing or singing, just laughing and enjoying, at least that was the plan.

\----------------------------------------------

A day off, maybe that's what Jungwoo needed but he couldn't take a day off, he needed to prove himself worthy of being in the group, of being a member of NCT 127 and up until now he was nothing but a disappointment. He quickly got dressed and he was out. He walked through the rain that had decided to accompany him on his way to the SM building, once he arrived he directly went to the dancing studio, there were still choreographies he didn't know, choreographies he hadn't mastered and he needed to be perfect, not for him but for his members, he couldn't be more of a burden to them than what he already was.

He danced and danced and danced until his body gave out on him, he saw darkness but just before that, someone entered the room, screamed his name, and then... Darkness, just like the one in the dorm but this one was more peaceful, he felt like floating, it was nice.

\-------------------------------------------

Taeyong woke up and made breakfast, Jungwoo's favorite of course, at the end of the day, this was all for Jungwoo. 

While cooking, the members started to wake up one by one, some were already dressed and full of energy, others came to the living room on pajamas and sleepy faces but there was one face that he didn't see, Jungwoo, and now that he thought about it, Jaehyun was not there either.

Taeyong just assumed they would be asleep, that was until Jaehyun came out of their room asking for Jungwoo. Jungwoo wasn't in the dorm, where had the boy gone?-right, the studio, he had to run, he wasn't going to leave the younger alone. Taeyong picked his keys and coat and ran to the studio leaving the other 7 members with a confused expression on their faces.

He had never run so fast, he had this horrible feeling and he couldn't quite tell where was it coming from and, in all honesty, he didn't really want to know. The rain slapped him in the face with every step he took, he didn't know why he was so desperate to get there but he knew he had to get to Jungwoo as fast as he could.

He arrived at the building and ran directly towards the dance studio where loud music could be heard, he slammed the door open and saw Jungwoo slowly falling to the floor, he saw how his eyes went to the back of his head and he screamed Jungwoo's name but it was too late. Jungwoo's head touched the floor with a loud bang and Taeyong ran to his side.

Taeyong cried while he shook Jungwoo trying to wake him up, after a while Jungwoo's eyes fluttered open. Seeing his hyung in there, with him, made him feel even more pain, he was such a burden to everyone, Taeyong couldn't even enjoy their day off because of him. Jungwoo was so overwhelmed by his emotions that he started crying, ugly sobs leaving his mouth and Taeyong hugged him, he hadn't noticed in just how much pain Jungwoo was but now that he was showing all his pain to him he didn't know what to do so he just hugged him. 

He pulled Jungwoo in his embrace and cried with him. Taeyong whispered sweet words into his ear until Jungwoo calmed down. Jungwoo breathed and buried himself deeper into his hyung's embrace enjoying the warmth of his body, how his chest moved up and down and he calmed down, a wave of relief washing over him. 

"Baby, can you tell me what's wrong?"- what was wrong? Everything was wrong, he hated himself, his voice, his hair, his face, arms, legs, everything, and just like he hated everything, everything hurt too. Jungwoo explained it to Taeyong just how wrong he felt and by the time he was finished he was silently crying again.

"Baby, do you, maybe...want to take a break for a bit, like a long one so that you can heal?"-that...that didn't sound that bad. Jungwoo needed a break from life at this point so he decided it was time for him to heal and so he did. With the help of his members, he healed, he breathed, and now, he was truly okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. I actually kinda like it 😂
> 
> Don’t forget to leave your requests on the first chapter and...leave comments 😅💕
> 
> You can also find this as a separate story as part of the series of K-POP angst so...yeah, that’s all :3
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings ❤️


	4. It hurts so much (Eric migraine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: :) (?)  
> Hi! Can you please make an Eric (The Boyz) sickfic/angst/fluff story like for example, the other members thought Eric's just faking it but then it really got worse in the middle of practice (or something like that) and then at the end they'll say sorry and shower him with love hehe 👉👈
> 
> I hope it’s like you imagined it and that you like it 💕 thank you for recommending this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: there’s this part where I call Jacob ‘his fellow American member’ yes, I’m very aware that he’s Canadian but I’m not referring to American as in from the US but literally from America, so yeah 😅

The first thing Eric heard when he woke up that morning was loud, screaming voices inside his and New’s room. The voices kept getting louder and by now he could tell the voices belonged to Jacob and Younghoon. Why were they screaming, he didn’t know but what he did know was that their screaming made his head spin and pound like it was being drilled.

He opened his eyes trying to see the culprits of his discomfort but instead, all he saw was a blinding light that made his headache go from bad to unbearable. He immediately closed his eyes again in an attempt to block the light, to his dismay, Jacob noticed he was awake and approached him. The older clapped loudly to wake up the youngest and he did not only succeeded in his task but he also made Eric feel like the pain was about to kill him, what was wrong with his hyungs? Couldn’t they see he was suffering? Apparently not. 

He carried his hand towards his head in a futile attempt to stop the pain and slowly opened his eyes once again only this time, the blinding brightness was not the only thing that welcomed him. Jacob and Younghoon standing beside him with sheepish expressions adorning his faces. 

“Hyung...my head really hurts”, was the next thing that came out of his mouth, a croaky and weak voice making its way out of his lips. He didn’t usually tell his members when he was not feeling good but this time, he did not only not feel good, he felt terrible. “Yah!!”– the loud sound of Younghoon’s voice was heard across the room, it startled Eric, making him jump a bit. “We know you are tired, but we all are, so stop making excuses to miss practice” – ah? What was happening? They thought he was faking? Why would they think that? he had never done anything like that so why would they mistrust him like that. He looked at Jacob searching for some help from his fellow American member only to find a disappointed face.

Eric slowly sat up and tried to explain to his hyungs that he was really, truly not feeling well, that his head felt like it was being drilled and that his thoughts felt like they were being squeezed out of his brain but they just hushed him and left the room, not without first reprimanding him and telling him to get ready. 

Eric was stunned, shocked and every other synonym you could give the word. His head had only started hurting more, Eric didn’t even know it was possible for it to be more painful but apparently, it was. 

“Sangyeon will listen, he’ll believe me” the leader would definitely see that he was not faking it, he would definitely help him. The pain in his head was now almost gone, or at least it was not as strong, so he decided he would stand up and walk towards the oldest’s room. The second he stood up though, a sharp pain crushed him, he crouched and held his head trying to make the pain stop but it didn’t seem to let up and some tears started sliding down his cheeks, he felt as if his head was about to explode but after some time in that same position, the pain slowly faded into something softer, he no longer saw stars in his vision and he could finally stand up. 

He walked carefully towards Sangyeon’s room where he found the oldest already dressed and reading something on his phone. Sangyeon turned his head towards the boy and looked at him with an exasperated expression on his face. 

“Hyung I really don’t feel good” Eric said while he supported himself on the door rail trying his best not to fall. "The others already told me of your little act so don't try and play victim here. Go get ready we're going to be late because of you" -holding back his tears Eric whispered a barely audible “ok” and retreated back to his room. Why did no one believe him? Had he done something wrong? Was he really that much of a burden that they didn’t want to handle him being sick? That they couldn’t believe him? While those thoughts roamed in his head tears rolled down his cheeks, he was not only in a lot of physical pain but now his heart ached too. 

If his friends, his brothers didn’t believe him... who would? He had no one. 

Slowly as to not make his headache worse, Eric got dressed in all black, took a hoodie of the same colour, and took off to where the others were waiting for him. He didn’t want to eat for he felt that if he ingested anything, he would just throw it all back up. The other members looked at him with a variety of expressions going from angry to disappoint to exasperated and Eric just wanted comfort but it was obvious that no one would be fulfilling his wish. 

Once they saw Eric, they started walking out of the door towards the van that was waiting for them outside of the building. Eric walked slowly behind the 11 boys, he had his eyes glued to the floor like it was some sort of hypnotising spell and with every step he took his headache became worse, and now, his head was not his only problem but also the nausea that had settled in his stomach. As he sat on the van, he could hear the others talking loudly about some restaurant they had found online, it seemed as if the members were purposely trying to be louder than usual just to make Eric feel worse. He wanted to place his head on the window but the small vibrations of the car made his head pound even harder so he settled for resting his head on his hands and that’s how they parted. 

With every bump and turn Eric could feel his insides protesting, his stomach was now doing somersaults and he felt as if his brain was trying to break apart inside his skull. His whole body had decided it didn’t like him anymore, that or it was punishing him for the times he hadn’t taken care of it, either way, he felt like dying. 

The van parked outside of the company building and one by one the boys started to get out, Eric being the last one to come out as he was sitting in the back of the van. During the last part of the ride his head had started to feel better, it was no longer trying to kill him so he took that as a point for him but the second he placed a foot outside the van a sharp pain hit him, it was so sudden he stumbled on his feet and had to use the car for support. 

“Can you cut the act now, please? We have work to do” Juyeon said with his deep voice and it felt like he had just hit Eric with a thousand daggers straight to his heart. His hyung had always been with him whenever he felt sad or stressed and he had always been for his hyung as well so then why? What had changed? Why...why didn’t they love him anymore? 

A tear slipped past his eyes and he just lowered his head and walked towards the dance studio where the others were already positioned on their respective places for the choreography. Eric placed himself as well and the music started playing loudly through the speakers. He was not feeling well at all, his movements were slagged and he couldn't bring himself to properly focus on the music. He missed step after step and with each, the members got more annoyed at him. 

It was time for them to practice their 'Mirotic' stage. With every movement, he felt like he was either going to pass out or throw up. Apparently, his body had chosen the second option and it was made obvious to Eric some seconds later. He felt bile rising up his throat and how his stomach tensed up, he had no time run to the bathroom or to the closest bin and as his head started to spin even harder he dropped to his knees. 

11 heads turned to him looking for the cause of the loud noise and saw their maknae crouched on the floor, pale and with his hand pressed against his mouth. 

"New, bring me a bucket or a bin!!!" Sangyeon screamed while he and Kevin crouched beside the youngest. In a matter of seconds, New was back with a bucket and as soon as he placed it under Eric's chin everything he had eaten came rushing down his throat, and soon, he was crying. The acid liquid kept coming down his throat and now, he was holding the bucket like it was some sort of life support. 

Kevin drew soothing circles on his back while Sangyeon held his hair so that it wouldn't get on the way. "We're really sorry baby, really really sorry," the oldest said while still holding Eric's hair. 

Once he was finished he could feel the excruciating pain that was currently taking over his head. He placed both his hands on his head, trying, with all his might, to stop the unbearable pain that was currently crushing his body. Tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, eventually falling in the bucket that was still in front of him. 

“Baby, you have to tell me what's hurting ok?" Kevin told him in English hoping that the language would calm the boy down a little, "Head" Eric croaked past his tears and the others understood. Changmin quickly turned off the lights while Kevin shushed the distressed boy. 

After some minutes, Eric was finally calm, his head still felt terrible, but it no longer made him feel like he was going to die. The lights were off and the members were all sitting around him while Kevin held him in his arms, and then, the comment came "I don't think he's faking it" Sunwoo said making everyone laugh slightly, including Eric. "Can you forgive us, baby?" Juyeon said while approaching the boy slowly. Eric gave a nod, he was not mad at them, he was just happy to feel loved again.

They stayed in that position for some time until they decided it was time for them to go home. Jacob carried the boy to the van and as soon as the car started, Eric fell asleep. He was surrounded by his brothers and now he knew he was safe in their embrace, he knew he was loved and cared for so he let himself slip into the world of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you liked it ☺️
> 
> Keep requesting 💕
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings ❤️


	5. Request info

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is basically the order of the requests so you can see where is yours and kinda know when they’ll be posted.

fogkhufhj: Chan sickfic  
Hi! Can you do a stray kids fic where chan faints at dorm or at dance practice (but not because of terminal illness, more like because of high blood pressure or not eating or anemia) and members are worried? Thank you <3 Have a nice day~

Aegimaknaes: Jisung fluff

Can you do one abt nct jisung where he struggles trying to live up with his nickname of SM's next upcoming artist and main dancer. And it gets even worse when haters bash him for things like why he is main dancer when he is a maknae etc

And/or another ome where during Dancing High, he injured himself. Due to WGU comeback and Dancing High, he can't really back out and has to deal with the pain each stage but his members are always there for him, looking out for him (suddenly remembered about dream show ment where he mentioned how dancing actually ruins the body and it made me think just how many injuries did he sustain throughout his years as a dancer) OH and can it be like major fluff uwu

Anakika1: Jisung angst

Hi! May I request a NCT jisung centric fic? Maybe where he is getting bullied by a manager because the manager hates him and will hurt the other members instead. and he almost thinks of killing himself because he thinks there's no way out. And can you have the hyungs catching him while he's hurt and coddle him and baby him and he realizes he is loved and needed. Thank you so much!

Josie_P: Ten sickfic

I was wondering if you could write something, maybe, 3-5K words, about Ten in NCT feeling sick during a vlive, and his hands are trembling and all, and Johnny notices and helps him out and takes care of him and it hurts Ten a lot but Johnny (and the rest of NCT) makes him feel better?

d00: Eric angst 

Hi i have this idea of a fanfic and would like u to make a story of it if u can hehe. Its on eric from the boyz. So its like eric is facing a family conflict or something... since then, its hard for him to focus.. his behaviour has changed, he wasnt as energetic he used to be as he's feeling idk worried inside? Like he thinks alot and he became stress.. the members start to feel worried especially juyeon but eric wouldnt let them know he kept saying hes fine and he will do better during practice... he also having insomnia and so he secretly bought sleeping pill to help him sleep. One day roommate new found a sleeping pill in the room and told leader sangyeon, and sangyeon ask for a groul meeting. He said if theres any problem that the members are facing , pls share and all of them can help each other out since the boyz are family.. and then sangyeon look at eric and ask him why he seem diff , eric just say its nothing , when sangyeon brought out the sleeping pill eric shock and the he decided to tell his stories nd started cryinf and all of them comforted him...

So yea.. i feel its not a full complete story yet, and would like to request u if u can help me to write a complete one and prob like a better plot? Hahahah

Nomin: Haechan sickfic

helloo! I would like to request a nct haechan sickfic! maybe one that haechan was sick so he kept messing up during practices for both dream and 127, and they were very mad and scolded him. haechan tried to tell them he was sick but they were too angry and told him not to make up excuses. they then ignored him till they realise he was actually really sick. they took care of him and pampered him afterwards. thank you in advance! all the best in writing!! 💕✨

Casey: Mingyu depressed  
Could I request a Seventeen Mingyu fic where he feels insecure and depressed? It'd be great! ><

Julia Carat: Woozi overwork

I am not sure if you still accept any more requests but I will ask anyway 😂💖  
Can you please make a Woozi (Seventeen) sickfic in which he overworks himself/gets sick (I mean he is in charge of producing and composing most of their songs) and he refuses to rest or to stop working and his members try to stop him?  
You can make it as long/short as you want :)  
I would really appreciate it because I really like your style of writing, your way of describing each situation makes imaging it very easy and your word choices are perfect  
Thank you so much

AdeliaRuth: Eric fics 

\- tw//panic attack. Eric recieved so many hateful comments for a long time and that made him suffer a panic attack. The members who just knew about it immediately saved him and showered him with love

\- tw//nosebleed. Eric overworked himself after the choreographer teacher scolded him in dance lesson. He doesnt realize until he got severe nosebleed and collapse in the practice room. His hyungs found him lay down with blood covered his nose and mouth and rushed him to hospital.

But if you feel uncomfortable or triggered about it, you can skip my request. I hope you have a nice day/night and stay healthy. Thanks dear! 💕💕

_**AFTER CURRENT REQUESTS ARE DONE THE FOLLOWING WILL START TO APPEAR!**_

jyanism: Dino sickfic

Hey, can I request a svt fanfic, where dino is sick but everyone was so busy until he fainted. You can do your own ending

Laila_232008: Cheol angst and Hyeongjun 

Hi, I know you are no longer receiving applications but I wanted to leave my 2 applications in case you decide to re-open them. Also I know you're very busy so I don't want to pressure you.  
The first was about Cheol OT13 where he is very stressed by many meetings with the company and presentations he begins to get away from the members and one day they corner him and have their hug night.  
And the second was from hyeongjun (cravity) about insecurities and maybe some psychological abuse from his manager until his members catch him and confort Hyeongjun.  
I really don't want to pressure you, if you want you can write one or none, it's your decision, I know you have many applications so in case you re-open the applications there is no hurry. ;)😘👋

minhybaby: Mark messing 

'm not sure if you're confortable with writing about messing, but if so, I was wondering if you could do a superm one. I was thinking about them coming home from an interview or whatever, and Mark hasn't been feeling very well since he woke up, his stomach was feeling unconfortable, but he could handle it at first. But then, when they're coming back, they're trapped in the traffic and mark starts feeling like he needs to go to the bathroom, but ofc he can't, bc they're in the middle of the street, so his stomach starts hurting more and more and at some point he's just feeling overall really bad, like in a lot of pain and feverish and desperate bc he needs a bathroom soon. He tries his best to hold until they get home but the pain is too much and at some point, he ends up having an accident in the car. The boys get completely shocked and don't really know what to do, all they can do is try to confort him until they get home, while he just cries and cries from pain and humiliation. When they finally get home, Mark is still crying a lot, and Taeyong decides to help him, since he's the closest to him in the group. He brings him to the bathroom and helps him clean up (maybe helps him take a bath or something), then takes him to bed gives him medicine. The rest can be about Mark being embarrassed of being with his hyungs because of what happened, thinking they're gonna make fun of him, but then ofc they confort him and make him feel safe again.

Oriana_2005: S. Coups angst 

Hi!! I can request one from seungcheol in a polyamusing relationship with the members, where he stops eating because the stylist told him he is gaining weight and leaves him some bruising when hitting him for allegedly being "fat ". The members notice a bruise and force him to show them the rest of the bruises and there they realize that he has not been eating and help him. I really know you closed the application but I wanted to leave you my application just in case, anyway you have all your rights not to write it as the applications are closed, I love how you write so keep it that way and stay safe, greetings😗❤

Phoenix_Hwang: Sicheng angst

Hi! I am an ARMY, but today, I'm here to convey someone else's request.

It's Sicheng-centric, where he feels left out, starts distancing himself from the others and eventually gets into an argument with them. This leads to him being deliberately ignored by the members. It may start going downhill, leaving to a devastated Sicheng, and twenty two members who have to pick up the pieces. I leave it upon you to figure out the ending, as long as it is detailed.

I write poetry and prose, so I understand if you take some time to complete all the requests, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that you will take notice of this request and make the most out of it. Don't forget the enjoy writing!

honeyclusters: SHINEE

hi !! i’m not sure if you’re still taking requests and i know you have a lot of requests already so thank you so much for taking the time to write these <3  
if you have the time could you possibly write a few taemin centric ones with his shinee hyungs ? i’m so soft for shinee absolutely babying taeminnie  
if you have the time could you possibly do :  
1\. shinee reuniting after the hyungs comeback from army and just a lot of fluff of them telling taemin how proud they are of him and taemin telling them he was really sad and lonely and missed them so much (if it’s possible to make it a bit angsty where taemin’s like he wasn’t really coping in superM and solos but felt like he couldn’t complain especially hot in superM but he was just trying really hard to make his hyungs proud and then the hyungs just shower him in love and compliments) all platonic though !!  
2\. shinee hyungs taking care of taemin and indulging him when he’s being bratty and annoying but they love him regardless  
3\. shinee hyungs just taking care of a really really sick taeminnie  
i know its a lot to ask and you have so many requests absolutely take your time no rush at all i would love to see these fics ,, thank you so much for writing so many already i love them all please don’t stress yourself to get all the fics out super fast as well !! thank you so much <3 and i hope you personally are doing well <3<3

Winter: jisung abuse 

Wow it's really good!! I love it!

Can i have a request? Hmm i was thinking about jisung is suffering from a abusive manager in which he tells jisung that he is not talented/worthless (which clearly isn't as he is so TALENTED!!) like he needs to work on to his vocals,dancing, and weight. The members notice that something is wrong with Jisung but they brush it off as they notice that the manager always take care of jisung (but it's not). But as time goes by they notice the signs of jisung being abused, they were too late. As the members notice it they saved jisung from their manager, but jisung has already suffered the effects of being abused.Then after that jisung telling his members about his suffering and 0t23 moments were they take care of their maknae :)).

taeminnie: Taemin superM angst

heyo !!!!! i know you’ve got a lot of requests but could you maybe so a superM/taemin centric one ? like around the time where superM first debuted and shinee hyungs were all in army and it’s like he’s really missing his hyungs and even though he has kai as his best friend (platonic please !!!!) its just not the same :( if you could could you make it kind of angsty where taemin has a TW//panic attack or anxiety attack because everything’s too much and he just misses his hyungs and feels guilty over being in a new group even though his hyungs supported him and then a bunch of superM fluff where all of them just comfort him and perhaps featuring a surprise call from each of his hyungs at the end ?  
i know you have a lot of requests no rush and if you don’t feel like writing this request like i 100% get it i just realised that even though it’s a new group everyone in superM has someone from their original group except taemin and i’m such a sucker for baby taemin when he’s with his hyungs because they indulge him so much so i would love to see this request come to life but again no pressure at all !!!! and thank you for writing everything you have so far they’re so good i find myself rereading them over and over hehe <3  
kind of like baekhyun or kai tries to call his hyungs while he’s having the breakdown because he doesn’t want his hyungs to worry but in the end baekhyun secretly texts them individually and then the hyungs individually call taemin to check up on him and it’s really sweet but at the end the majority of it would be taemin’s slow breakdown resulting in a TW// panic attack or anxiety attack and superM being there for him when his hyungs can’t  
i’m so sorry if the request is super detailed !!! feel free to play around with the idea :’)

Sehun: Sehun being baby angst 

helloooooo i know there’s quite a lot of requests and i’m not very sure if you’re still taking any bUT if you have the time could you possibly do a sehun centric one ? i feel like a lot of people always forget that sehun is actually such a sensitive baby who deserves to be protected by the world HAHHAHA and he’s super underrated too like omg  
if it’s possible could you do :  
one where sehun is already insecure about his position as the makne because people tend to baby kai more and where exo kinda forgets that sehun is the baby and have been ignoring him and being kind of mean to him in favour of kai and then there’s a huge misunderstanding like something important gets misplaced / a fake rumour goes around about sehun saying bad things about exo so they become even more mean to sehun and then sehun gets even more insecure and starts having anxiety attacks or panic attacks then he also gets really sick and only after the hyungs realise they not only wrong accused sehun but they’ve also been unknowingly mean and ignoring him and MAJORR MAJOR fluff ensues of his hyungs taking care of him cause he’s sick and showering him in love and helping him through an anxiety/panic attack. hehe if it’s possible , to make it as angsty as you can and then with the most fluff you’ve ever seen (all platonic though) and then sehun feels cherished like the baby that he is (maybe with like sehun melting at his hyungs calling him baby or baby boy but in a not weird way if that makes sense HHAHAHAH)  
oh man i realised that was super detailed HHAHA no rush or anything i would love to see it being written because we need more sehun being babies by his hyungs fanfics istg but thank you for taking the time to write everyone’s requests it really makes my day seeing all your new stories !!!! :’)

lilabtsfan_1234

np!! tysm!! so my request is that Jisung from Stray Kids gets blamed for doing smth he didn't, and the other members get mad at him, and even stop talking to him. After a while, they realize he didn't do anything and they apologize to him. tysm for accepting my request!!!~💞💞💞

Dreamer: Jeno angst

I loved this chapter! I love Kun and it's kind of difficult to find stories about him. The story has the perfect combination of fluff and angs ...

Could you make a angs fic with tons of fluff with Jeno from NCT being the main character? Something like Jeno is very stressed with assuming Taeyong parts because he is resting, but Jeno cant express his emotions and doesn't want to worried the other members so he keps smiling (its not a sincere smile but the members dont notice it). But one day he cant deal anymore so has a panic attact and ends up being hospitalized. The NCT dream manager was the one who finded Jeno and took him to the hospital and later has to tell the members who felt really bad for neglect him so the NCT members comfort Jeno and try to make him smile again.

daydreaminie: Bts  
Hi! can i request a BTS one where Jimin is annoyed that Jungkook keeps eating his leftovers, and decideds to play a prank but it goes wrong so the other members comfort him?  
I've always wanted to write this but never found the motivation -_- i was hoping u could do it!

its ok if u cant do the request

Thank you so much

Elena_s_wavyhair: Félix angst 

I don't know if you heard of the stray kids incident with Felix (the bubble-incident). But I kinda want to see Felix being really insecure and closed off due to this, even to the members. So much they really start to worry about Lix and then the members find out what happened and try to comfort him with lots of cuddles en love (maybe a few tears will be shed?) In the end, everything is fine and he's happy again. With OT8 with a hint of chanlix.

If you don't know what happened that's fine, you can switch te situation if you have an idea. Or you can just ignore this request, I will completely understand if you do!

Please stay safe and happy!!;)

mi4ra: won woo sickfic 

Hey! I'd like to request a SVT fic with wonwoo being sick and the members looking after him. Or maybe something about his hand tremors giving him trouble. Just Jeon Wonwoo angst. It's okay if you don't want to write one though. Thank you! Keep it up! 😅

With this you can kinda see where your request is and how long it will take for me to post it. I’ll do my best to post them as fast as I can ☺️


	6. Sleep (Yeosang insomnia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Rubyjin
> 
> Hi! Could you make an angst fic with some fluff with Yeosang being main character? For example something about insomnia. He will be just so exhausted but he wouldn't say it to other members and they'll discover and would help him.  
> Or something about an injury he hides...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it and that it was like you imagined it.

Yeosang tossed and turned in his bed while trying to sleep, he was exhausted but for some reason, his brain had decided that he would not be sleeping any time soon. It was already 4:00 AM and sleep had not come to him. He knew that they had to be up by 6:00 because of some filming that had to be done for the 'Inception' video and that even if he got to sleep now, which was extremely unlikely, he would still only get two hours of sleep. He also knew that even if he got those two hours of sleep, he would still be exhausted and way too tired to try and dance so he decided he would get out of bed and make some breakfast for the others. 

Sluggishly, he got out of bed, placed his feet on the floor, and let the coldness of the floor welcome his bear feet. A sigh escaped his lips as he removed himself completely from the blankets. The morning was cold, well, it was expected considering the hour but still, it was too cold for Yeosang.

He picked a blanket from his bed and tied it around him so that he could be a sushi roll, a...Yeosang roll. He laughed at the thought, his sleepy mind made good jokes. He walked towards the kitchen, careful as to not wake the others up and started making some pancakes because might as well do something interesting considering he had so much time to spare. 

He was about to finish when the first members started arriving in the kitchen. The first one up was Seonghwa, he was still wearing his pyjamas and he looked at Yeosang stranged, Yeosang rarely woke up before him but there he was, standing in the kitchen making pancakes. 

"What're you doing up so early? It's only like 5:30" Seonghwa asked startling the youngest who jumped slightly at the voice of his hyung. He turned to look at the owner of the voice and just now he realised he didn't have an explanation for him being up so early other than that he never really went to sleep. 

"I don't know," Yeosang said with a sheepy smile on his face "I just kinda woke up like at 5:00 and couldn't go back to sleep so here I am" he hated lying to Seonghwa but he couldn't let him know that it had been weeks since he slept more than 2 hours. The dark bags under his eyes could confirm this fact but because of the dim light inside the kitchen, the oldest didn't notice them and Yeosang was grateful for that. 

Seonghwa shrugged and dropped the topic. He approached Yeosang and ruffled his hair, Yeosang knew this was a way of showing he was worried for him but it was really nothing, he was just lacking some sleep hours, nothing he couldn't handle by himself...at least that's what he thought. 

One by one the rest of the members started appearing. Some were already dressed and ready to go, others were sleepy and still in pyjamas but they all ate the pancakes, Yeosang was praised multiple times by them about how good they were and how they loved him for making them and Yeosang could've enjoyed the compliments more if it was not for the fact that he was about to fall asleep right then and there. His eyes were heavy and he felt that he would fall asleep on top of the pancakes at any moment, on top of that, he could feel a headache forming right behind his eyes and he was already hating it. 

Quickly, they got dressed and clean and in a matter of minutes they were going out towards the location where the video was going to be filmed. Yeosang stumbled on his feet while getting in the van, exhaustion getting to him, plus his headache was becoming worse and his vision started to blur from time to time. If only he had finished his breakfast maybe that would've helped, he thought, although he knew that it probably wouldn't have changed anything. 

They got to the location and started practising, loud music banging in the walls of the room...and in Yeosang's head too. The music was becoming too loud for him to handle and the staggering pain behind his eyes was starting to become a little too overwhelming, he thought of telling the other members, it crossed his mind a couple times but it stayed as an idea. They couldn't afford to take a break right now, especially with their comeback being so close, so he decided he would just ask HongJoong and the staff for a 5-minute break.

The music stopped and he dropped to his knees ignoring the glances the stylists gave him, he was probably slightly ruining the outfit but at that point, he couldn't really focus on anything else other than the stabbing pain he felt and how his eyes were about to close. Seonghwa approached him placing his hand on the younger's back. "Are you ok?" he asked with a concerned tone. He could now see the dark bags under his eyes and the exhausted and pained expression that adorned Yeosang's face. 

"I'm good. Just tired" Yeosang said, slightly slurring his words, a consequence of his headache getting worse while they danced. Seonghwa wasn't convinced at all but knew better than to push the boy, he knew how stubborn the dancer could be regarding his health so he decided he would just keep an eye on him for the rest of the day and if the younger seemed worse he would take him home, even if he had to force him. 

"Ok boys!! The break is over please get into your positions!!" the director screamed across the room so that everyone could hear him. Yeosang definitely heard him, not only heard him but felt his voice ringing in his ears and drilling in his head. He winced in pain but stood up anyway, as he stood up, his head started spinning and he felt like a wave of nausea hit him but before he could do anything, black spots were covering his vision. 

His eyes started closing and he welcomed the darkness, he needed to sleep and his body was just giving that time to him, so he embraced it. He let himself be swallowed by the darkness and he fell to the floor with a loud thump. 

The others didn't even have time to react, everything happened too fast for them to do anything but after the initial shock, they all gathered around Yeosang trying to wake him up. Yunho had picked him up from the floor and was now shaking him lightly in attempts of waking the unconscious boy up to no avail. His eyes were closed and you would actually think he was sleeping if it wasn't for the fact that they had seen him go down before their eyes. 

After a doctor checked him up they discovered that what had caused Yeosang to pass out was nothing more and nothing less than pure exhaustion. The doctor had said that he would probably not wake up for a while because his body was basically, forcing him to sleep but that it wasn't anything they should feel greatly worried about. 

Their manager took them back home seeing as they wouldn't be able to complete the filming of the video. Yeosang slept that whole afternoon and every 30 minutes one of the members would check upon him. They were all worried about the boy, he had, at the end of the day passed out in front of them. San had been by his side for the most part of the afternoon until Seonghwa forced him to get out of the room to eat and in no time it was already night time and Yeosang was still asleep, it slightly worried the members, they knew the doctor had said that he was tired and that he would sleep but just how tired was Yeosang for him to sleep so much. 

Just when everyone was about to go to sleep a sluggish, blank-tied, Yeosang appeared from his room with a confused expression on his face. In a matter of seconds, he had other 7 boys surrounding him. Mingi took the sleepy boy to the sofa and sat beside him. The others gathered quickly staring at Yeosang like he was some sort of rarity. Yeosang squirmed uncomfortably before Seonghwa broke the silence.

"The doctor told us you passed out of exhaustion and that you probably hadn't been sleeping. Mind explaining?" Seonghwa said with a concerned yet firm tone, it was not quite a reprimand but still, the reprimand was there.

"I-I haven't been able to sleep for a while now. I would really try to fall asleep but I just can't sleep, it's as if my body had decided that it hated to sleep. It's not like I didn't want to I promise, I just couldn't fall asleep every time I tried so I just kinda gave up" Yeosang said and a tear started rolling down his cheek. Why was he even crying? The countless sleepless nights were now taking a toll on him and they were making him more emotional than usual, at least that's the only explanation he could find as to why he was crying. 

Wooyoung pulled him into his embrace and rubbed his back as tears kept rolling down his cheeks. "Next time something like this happens, you have to tell us ok?" the leader said and received a nod from the crying boy. They wrapped Yeosang in a big hug and promised to take better care of him. That night they slept on the living room with a mountain of blankets and pillows and they all tried to get as close to Yeosang as they could. 

They had promised that they wouldn't fall asleep until he did but 30 minutes later they were overcome by sleep. Yeosang watched as their chests went up and down, he heard some of them lightly snore, he saw how San had put his hand over Jongho, how Wooyoung mumbled something indecipherable under his breath, and slowly, he felt how sleep came for him too. That was the first time in weeks Yeosang had slept soundly and that's how they agreed that from then on, every time Yeosang wasn't able to sleep, they would all cuddle in the living room until the boy succumbed to sleep. 

Yeosang was ok now, he was fine, as fine as he could ever be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for updating so slow and late but I just started school again and....me dying. The other chapters will come just give me some time, please.
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings.


	7. Listen to me (Mark exhausted)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Sleep_life221
> 
> Hi, could you maybe do one where Mark ends up really sick at dance practice bc he's been overworked lately and he keeps messing up the timing/moves etc and the members eventually end up getting Inpatient bc they keep having to start over, but at this point, his fever is so high and he's so out of it, it kinda just sounds like ringing in his ears and like he tries to tell them he's not doing that great but they're like ya well we're all tired dude suck it up and do it right so we can go home already. And then he just ends up passing out after a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, on this one I kinda deviated a bit (I deviated a lot I’m really sorry) from the original plot but I hope you still like it ....ooh my gosh I deviated so so much I’m sorryyy...if you want i can write this again :(
> 
> Thank you for recommending this 💕

Mark was seriously starting to doubt that the company's CEO was very sane. He could understand how being in NCT Dream, 127 and even U from time to time could be helpful to the team but adding him to SuperM, that was just too much. 

How was he supposed to live when all he did was go from one practice room to another, go from one song to the next, rap until his throat hurt, how was he supposed to breathe? He was starting to collapse and he could feel it but as always, he was expected to have a smile on his face, to light up the room and crack jokes even if his life seemed like a joke at that moment. 

Mark walked from SuperM's practice room to NCT 127's one, his usual happy go lucky demeanour completely gone, he just couldn't bring himself to smile when his muscles ached and his head felt like exploding. Mark was not only physically exhausted, but he was mentally exhausted as well. these days, he felt like crying 90% of the time and Mark didn't like that at all, he would usually be fooling around and laughing with the others but now he didn't have the time or energy to do that. 

Taeyong had left before because his recording was done a lot faster than Mark's. He wondered if Taeyong had finished earlier because he was better than Mark, he wondered if Taeyong ever felt like he was feeling right now. If the leader...if he could only be like the leader, he had to practice more, to dance more, to rap more because he was not enough and he knew it, he had to be better, not for him, no not at all, but for his members, for the fans. 

Even if Mark thought that, he couldn't bring himself to walk faster towards the practice room because his brain had not registered properly the part where he said he had to practice more, it stayed in "not enough", in "useless", in "weak".

You could blame it on the sheer exhaustion or in the fact that his head was hurting but to Mark, his brain was right. He was useless, he was not enough, he was weak because even though Taeyong, Lucas and Ten had busy schedules just like him, they didn't seem to break down like him. Because, yes, Mark was breaking down, physically and mentally.

While trapped in his thoughts he didn't notice he had arrived where the other NCT 127 members were. He stood in front of the door before taking a deep breath and opening it. He was welcomed with loud, loud music pounding through the speakers, there was Taeyong, dancing just as flawlessly as the others. Taeyong was...Taeyong was something he could never be. He was the perfect Mark wanted but couldn't have because he knew he was nothing but a disappointment to every group he got into, at least that's what his exhaustion filled brain told him.

He left his bag on the floor and waited for the song to be over so that he could join the next one. The music stopped and heavy breaths could be heard across the room, his teammates were also exhausted but none of them seemed to be weak like him, none of them was in the verge of tears every time someone just mentioned their name, every time someone brushed past him he could feel his throat tightening, what was wrong with him? He had to control himself if we wanted to be perfect just like the rest of the members, he had to be strong... For them.

Mark approached the group and placed himself in his 'Kick it' position. The music started sounding and he could immediately feel his head pounding as if it was being drilled by the music, the volume was too loud, the movements too fast and he was sure he had missed some steps of the choreography but he hoped no one noticed.

Mark was sure no one had noticed his mistake until the music stopped abruptly and 8 pairs of eyes were intensely looking at him. Between his headache and the feeling of emptiness creeping over him, he couldn't really focus on what the others were saying and apparently it was noticeable because suddenly a loud "Yah! Could you at least pay attention to what we are telling you or are we that much of a burden to you because if that's the case you can just leave" Taeyong? It had been the leader who had yelled at him, he had never screamed at him or at any of the members like that. He looked at Johnny looking for some sort of understanding but nothing came, he looked just as disappointed as the rest of them, if not more. 

He felt disgusting, he had failed them, he had...he had done what he did best, fuck things up. His eyes filled with tears but he couldn't cry, he wasn't about to show them how weak he really was. The room felt too big and he was too small, the eyes of the members felt like they were burning him, like his flesh was being torn apart piece by piece and air was harder to bring to his lungs. His hyung kept talking, reprimanding him and he just couldn't take it anymore because his head was pounding and his lungs needed more air so he took his bags from the floor and ran out of the room. 

He kept running until he was in front of the dorms, how he had gotten there, he didn't know but his legs were now burning just like his lungs. His head was spinning and with lousy steps, he carried himself to his room. He sat heavily on his bed and buried his head in his hands, now that the adrenaline was gone he could feel the exhaustion catching up to him, his head pounding like it was some sort of bad joke, he could feel his tears starting to fill his eyes and this time he didn't try to stop them, he let the tears run freely down his cheeks, he was just so exhausted and overwhelmed and he just wanted to cry. Ugly sobs left his lips and the more he cried, the least air entered his lungs and suddenly he found himself gasping for air.

The room was spinning and he couldn't breathe but he didn't know what to do so he just cried harder, it hurt so, so much and there was no one he could go to because he wasn't enough for them, he wasn't enough for himself. 

A sudden wave of nausea overcame him and he ran to the bathroom in hopes of making it there on time. He opened the door and knelt in front of the toilet while everything he had eaten that day rushed down his throat. Round after round of vomit kept coming down and Mark didn't seem to have a second to breathe. He just wished someone was there with him so that they could take the pain away, but it was obvious no one would come so after he finished, he just sat there, curled up in a ball as shivers crawled up his spine and tears rolled down his cheeks. 

Never in his life had he felt as exhausted and alone as he did now. Sure, you could blame his intrusive thoughts on the fact that he hadn't been able to sleep more than 2 hours per day because of practice, or on the fact that his throat hurt because of all the rapping he had done that month, on the pain in his head, on his stomach, but to Mark, every thought that crossed his mind seemed true, there were no lies hidden between those lines his brain kept repeating, and it hurt.

After some minutes of just sitting on the cold tile floor, he stood up, slowly as to not upset his head or stomach more. He rinsed his mouth and looked in the mirror, a tear-stained face looked back at him and he felt just as destroyed as his reflection looked. Mark decided that he would go to sleep and hope that everything would pass, he would have to face the members and staff tomorrow for leaving like that but he would do that tomorrow, today, he was already too destroyed as it was, he didn't need any other person telling him just how much of a burden he was. 

The next thing he heard was his alarm going off, he stretched his arm until he found the beeping object and quickly turned it off before it woke the other members up. He rubbed his puffy eyes lazily as he remembered how he had gone to sleep that night, tears on his eyes, knees on his chest and pain on his heart. Only the thought of last night made his throat tighten so he decided to stop thinking about it, that's when he noticed how his head still pounded and how his stomach felt like he was on a roller coaster. A groan left his mouth when he noticed this, he didn't want to be sick, he couldn't afford to be sick when everyone expected something from him. 

Mark sat up slowly trying not to make his headache or stomach worse, it obviously didn't work because the world started spinning as soon as he sat up, he held his head tightly in hopes of making the dizziness go away but it didn't work. He would just have to wait it out, Mark thought. A couple minutes later, the dizziness was gone, but it left him nauseous and with his head feeling as if his brain was trying to squeeze out of his skull. 

He didn't have much time to compose himself as he heard someone approaching his room. Johnny opened the door and in a dry tone he said: "Hurry up, we have to go". Johnny was mad, he was definitely disappointed, Mark knew, he knew Johnny was angry, he could tell by how he just opened the door, by how his voice sounded and how he looked at him and Mark didn't want him to be mad...he just wanted a friend by his side telling him he was going to be ok, but he assumed it was what he deserved, what a burden like him deserved. 

Quickly, he got ready to go and followed the others to the van. He didn't have breakfast because he felt that if he ingested anything, it would just come back up in a matter of minutes. The ride towards the studios was silent, or at least it was for Mark, no one had spoken to him the whole morning, not even Haechan, but Mark assumed that it was, again, what he deserved so he didn't think much of it

Once they arrived at the studio they all left their bags on the floor and started stretching, Mark was going to stretch when he felt his stomach do a 180º and a sharp pain overcame him. He told Jungwoo he was going to the bathroom and ran as fast as he could while he felt bile rising up his throat. He entered the bathroom and opened the first stall, he kneeled in front of the toilet and just like last night, everything came rushing back up, everything he had left at least. When he finished he took deep breaths trying to calm down, closed the lid and stood up shakily. He walked out of the bathroom after rinsing his mouth and washing his hands, he walked back towards the dance practice room as fast as his legs allowed him to. 

He entered the room and placed himself in his position, he could feel how the others threw glances at him, probably for being late, but no one said anything so he just ignored them and tried to focus on, well, not dying. 

The music started and so did his movements, he was going on autopilot, not thinking much about what he was doing. He made a mistake, the wrong position, he bumped into Doyoung and the music stopped. "Please focus Mark," the dance instructor said and Mark just nodded mindlessly, too busy focusing on the growing pain on his stomach. The music started again and once again, he made a mistake, this time falling to the floor because of it, and once again the music stopped, he stood up and after another sharp pain crushed his stomach he decided enough was enough. 

"I'm sorry but I really don't feel good, my-" he was cut off by an angry Yuta telling him to focus, that they were all tired and that he needed to do better. Mark was shocked, he had never been yelled by Yuta, he had never made the older angry, he must really be behaving like a brat for him to get mad. The music started and again, a mistake and again, and again, and again, mistake after mistake and the others were getting annoyed, they were tired, hey had been going with the same dance for hours now and they couldn't move on because Mark kept making mistakes.

Mark could've cared about the choreography if he didn't feel nauseous as hell and if his head wasn't spinning like it was on some sort of eternal merry go round. "Gosh, can you at least try to do it properly?!" It was Doyoung this time, the older rarely lost his patience but in this couple hours Mark had heard different words of the same sense coming from different people, the only one missing was Jungwoo and Mark was just waiting for him to come too. 

The music started again and he danced, he tried to dance as flawlessly as possible so that they could finally go home but in the middle of the song, he felt a horrible cramp overtaking his stomach and bile rushing down his throat, he stopped his movements completely this time, he heard the music stop and just when someone was about to say something vomit came rushing down his throat and into the wooden floor of the studio. Jungwoo was quickly by his side rubbing his back as wave after wave of sick came out of him. 

The force of it was so strong that at some point he ended up on his knees throwing up all over the floor. The members were shocked for a moment before they too tried to help their second maknae. Haechan rushed to get a bin, even if it was a bit late, the effort was appreciated. Taeyong kneeled beside Mark and kept his hair out of the way, Johnny took Jungwoo's place and started rubbing his back while telling him that he was going to be ok in English, hoping that the language calmed the boy down a little. 

After some minutes, Mark was done. He pressed himself against Johnny's chest and tried to breathe, trying to get as much air inside his lungs as possible. Doyoung had brought some toilet paper to clean his mouth and hands and in the process whisper reassuring words to the sick boy. Seeing as Mark was too tired, Johnny carried his small frame to the van and in a matter of minutes, the 9 boys were back home. 

Johnny placed Mark on his bed and sat beside him, Taeyong with them. "We're really sorry. We should've believed you when you said you weren't feeling good, we should've listened", Taeyong said while sitting on the foot of his bed. Johnny whispered an "I'm sorry" and rubbed his cheek. A loud "We are sorry too" was heard from the door frame where he found other 6 boys staring at him. Eventually, all 9 of them were inside the room Most of them were standing beside his bed or sitting on the floor while they chatted about something, Haechan had decided he wanted to cuddle Mark and so that's what the boy was doing at that moment and Taeyong hadn't moved from his spot at the end of the bed.

Mark hadn't said anything, but he forgave the members. He felt at peace now that he was with all of them, he also felt sorry for the cleaning staff at the studio but oh well. 

A couple days later and Mark was back to his usual happy self. He had promised the members that he would tell them immediately if something bothered him again. The members promised to believe him every time he said something was wrong. He had a long chat with Taeyong about the intrusive thoughts that had been lurking in his head for the past couple of days and was assured that he was perfect just how he was, that he could never be a burden to anyone and that he was loved by all the 21 members of NCT and now Mark could say that he was truly, really, happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...I’m sorry it’s not like you imagined it :(
> 
> As I said before, I can Rewrite it if you want 
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings 💕


	8. 22 (Jisung injury)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reagan: Jisung fall
> 
> This may be different, but can you do one where Jisung(NCT) is on stage with other SM artists and he falls and hurts his neck and back, and everyone is worried?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it’s what you imagined, I don’t know if i followed correctly your request but I hope I did 😕💕
> 
> Thank you for recommending this 💜
> 
> Soooo I had to do some medical research for this but don’t hate me if it’s wrong ok? 🥺

They were currently preparing for a show that was coming soon, the thing with this particular show was that NCT was not the only group performing but every SM artist would be on the stage, so to say that Jisung was nervous was an understatement.

Jisung, Kai and Taemin were now working on a dance that was supposed to be ready for the next day, Taeyong was supposed to be there as well but the rest of the NCT members had gone back to the company, leaving Jisung alone with all the other SM artists. Not like he didn't feel comfortable, no, not at all, it was just weird for him to be dancing side to side with people he had admired his whole life. The dance they were doing was hard, but it was expected considering that two of the best dancers in the company were choreographing it, so Jisung didn't complain even if some of the steps made him stumble a bit.

It was not as if Jisung was a bad dancer, it was just that the chemistry between the other two was quite hard to follow, especially when the choreography had a lot of lyrical elements and Jisung couldn't quite comprehend how to do them. He considered the idea of asking the older boys for help but he had to show them that he was not just some kid, that he could do just as much as them and that he could be...perfect, just like them. 

They danced and danced and Jisung was starting to feel the tiredness fill his body. They had been dancing for probably 7 hours at this point, and even if they had had a couple breaks, it didn't seem enough for Jisung's exhausted body. He wasn't about to show the rest just how tired he was, he had expectations to fill, expectations from other artists, expectations from his group members, but most importantly, expectations from himself. 

"Jisung-ah, you ok?" Teaming asked with his sweet voice, the older had noticed how the boy's movements had become slower and less precise, at first, he didn't want to ask knowing that he could potentially hurt the younger's pride, but now, Jisung seemed really tired and he had to ask, just in case. Jisung nodded not looking at Taemin's eyes, he wasn't trying to be rude or anything, but lifting his head just seemed like a lot of effort at that moment, he wasn't sure what was happening to him, he was used to training for long periods with his members and he had never gotten this tired so he didn't understand what was wrong, but he didn't have time to dwell on it, he had to keep working so that he could be as good as the rest of the people there, he had to show them he could be as good as them. 

He stood upright and smiled at Taemin letting him know he was fine. Taemin wasn't really convinced but the boy didn't seem that bad so he just let it go. The music started and Kai, Taemin and Jisung started dancing again, his body felt heavy with every step he gave and when a jump came, he couldn't keep his balance and fell right on his back. He felt as if the air had been kicked out of him and the world spun a little as pain rushed to his neck and back. 

The music stopped abruptly and in seconds Taemin and Kai were next to him. Jisung fought to catch his breath for some minutes before air filled his lungs. 

"I'm ok" he managed to choke out. It was obvious he wasn't but couldn't let the others know that he was hurting because he would be seen as a whiny kid who couldn't handle a fall. "Do you think you can stand up?" Kai said, worry seeping through his tone. Jisung wanted to nod and sit up but the second he tried to move his head, a sharp pain ran through his entire body, he couldn't stop the little whimper that escaped his mouth and the lonely tear that rolled down his cheek. The pain he was now feeling was almost unbearable, had he damaged something really badly? He was scared now, the pain on his back and neck was only increasing by the minute and the idea of never walking again crossed his mind a couple times, you could say he was exaggerating but that's because you weren't feeling the absolutely overwhelming pain that was currently consuming him. 

Taemin and Kai grew worried as the boy started to cry harder and the pain didn't seem to subside. Every time Jisung tried to move a sharp pain would cross his back and he would just start to cry even harder so they decided they wouldn't let him move anymore. "I'm going to call Taeyong and an ambulance" Kai said leaving Taemin with the distressed boy. Taemin started running his hands through Jisung's face, caressing his cheeks then running through his hair trying to soothe the younger. It eventually worked, Jisung was no longer sobbing, little whimpers escaping his mouth from time to time. "Can you call hyung?" Jisung said in just above a whisper, he appreciated Taemin's help and he was grateful for his presence, but his NCT hyungs had been with him since he was just a kid and he wanted to feel their comfort. "Kai already called them ok? We'll take you to the hospital to get checked up and see what's wrong with that neck of yours and then you'll see them yeah?" Taemin said while running his fingers through the younger's hair. He knew Jisung wanted to see someone more familiar but Taeyong and the rest were too far away to make it on time so he just assumed the would catch them in the hospital. 

The ambulance's siren was heard across the room and in a couple minutes, paramedics were rushing inside and asking questions. "Hi buddy, can you tell me what hurts?" One of the paramedics asked Jisung, the boy managed to croak the words 'back' and 'neck' so that the paramedic had a better idea of what was happening. 

"Ok, have you moved at all?" The paramedic asked.

"He tried a couple times but he couldn't" Taemin answered seeing as Jisung was being checked up by another man. 

The paramedic smiled slightly to Taemin and turned to Jisung. "Can you squeeze my hand really hard please?" The man asked while taking his hand. Jisung was scared he wouldn't be able to do it but to his surprise, he could squeeze the paramedic's hand without much pain or effort. "Good, thank you," he said while flashing a quick smile to Jisung. 

"Ok, we're taking him," said another paramedic after placing neck support on the boy. They easily lifted him on the stretcher and took him to the ambulance, Taemin followed and after a quick talk with Kai, they decided he would go with Jisung and Kai would follow them with his car. 

The ride went smoothly as the paramedics applied some pain relieving medicine on Jisung and he seemed a tiny bit more relaxed than before. 

When they got to the hospital he saw Taeyong and Chenle waiting in the door with worried expressions adorning their faces. The paramedic carried Jisung inside the hospital and after saying some quick words to Taeyong and Chenle, they took him through some doors and they were left outside waiting for news on the maknae. 

Kai had arrived just behind them so they were all currently sitting in the waiting room well, waiting. 

After an eternity - actually 40 minutes - they called them to the back to fill them in and so that they could see Jisung. The youngest was sitting on the bed with a neck collar placed on him. Chenle rushed to his side, tears filling his eyes and hugged Jisung as careful as possible. Taeyong went to the other side and grabbed one of the maknae's hand. Taemin and Kai watched from the door before eventually walking towards the boys as well. 

The doctor came and gave a brief explanation to what had happened, Jisung strained his back, probably caused because of the impact and the shock of the fall, his neck had suffered a slight whiplash but with the strain on his back, it had just made things more painful, he wouldn't be able to perform any physical activity for a while and would have to take some medicine for the inflammation and pain but overall, he was ok. 

A wave of relief washed over them and they could finally breathe easier now that they knew Jisung wasn't going to die or never be able to walk again, you have to understand that Kai's explanation of the situation had been a bit...worrisome. 

The doctor had explained that exhaustion could've been a big part in the injury and Jisung felt like he had been exposed, suddenly, 4 pairs of eyes were looking at him and all he could do was smile sheepishly and try to hide away from the accusing looks of his hyungs. Once the doctor left, he explained how he had been feeling before the fall and instead of reprimands, he received a warm hug and reassuring words. 

"You are perfect in your own way and there's no need for you to compare yourself with others baby. If you needed help you should've just asked" Taeyong told the boy with a sweet but firm tone and Jisung knew he wasn't mad, he was just worried for him and he understood now that he wasn't going to be seen as a whiny child by anyone, they already saw him as an equal, there was no need to prove that he was good, they already knew it and Jisung was grateful. 

It took a full month for Jisung to be able to dance with the rest and he knew he had a lot to catch up to but he also knew he had 20 older brothers, no, correction, 22 older brothers to take care of him and love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t proof read the last part so tell me if there’s anything wrong ok? 
> 
> Anyways, 
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings ❤️


	9. Trust (Lucas Foot Injury)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: ReadingQueen 
> 
> WayV - Lucas-centric  
> Lucas injures himself during one of their practices but doesn’t think it’s serious and ends up collapsing at the next day’s practice because his ankle/foot hurts so much. The members worry and fuss and comfort Lucas when the doctor tells him he’ll have to sit out for a while in order to heal. Bonus points if Lucas and Ten have a separate talk because their friendship is the cutest and Ten has him saved in his phone as “Giant Baby” which I think is the most adorable thing.  
> You can do whichever if you want to! The first one is really long and I don’t know if you’d want to worry about that one which is why I put the second which could be a lot shorter and sweeter. Thank you for opening up requests!! I apologize if these are repetitive lol. Have a nice day~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for recommending this ❤️
> 
> I’m not sure if this is what you wanted and it’s not the best but I still hope you like it 😕❤️  
> And OMG IM SO SORRY I JUST NOTICED I DIDN’T PUT MANY TEN/LUCAS INTERACTIONS 😔
> 
> I will definitely post the other fic you requested about Yeosang but I wanted to post something and this one was shorter than the other one.

Filming the new music video was rough, no no, rough was an understatement, it was hard, difficult, exhausting, tiring and many other adjectives and synonyms for the word 'terrible' you could think of. It's not like Lucas didn't like to dance and sing or be with his members, not at all but the thing is, they had been working for about 18 hours, with little breaks now and exhaustion was starting to fill their minds and bodies.

He slowly sat up from the spot he had been resting while Hendery did his part of the song...again, for the millionth time that day. His head felt kind of fuzzy but it was expected considering the fact that they hadn't slept at all for 18 hours so he didn't think much of it.

As Hendery finished his part, he approached the filming spot to start doing his. He gave Hendery a quick smile and a tap on his back to comfort him and continued with his work. The cameraman and director told him to move different ways, take different angles, dance more powerfully, make softer expressions, make harder expressions, they just wouldn't shut up honestly, and it was starting to annoy, not only Lucas but the rest of the members as well.

When the men were finally content with his face, his arms, his legs, himself in general, they started filming the last individual shot. It was a simple shot, he just had to dance a certain part if the choreography and he would be ready to go.

As the music started, he could feel how his head pounded a little, he had a buzzing pain just behind his eyes but it was the last shot, just 10 more minutes and he would finally go sleep somewhere, even if that meant the floor. He moved with the music trying not to make any mistake, they stopped the music a couple times to check the scene and they would start all over again. The director was being especially picky that day. 

"Just one more shot ok?" the director yelled so that he could be heard through the music.

Lucas sighed, finally, the last, last, really last shot of the day.

The music started once again and his muscles moved almost automatically. Suddenly, a dizzy spell caught him off-guard and he stumbled on his feet. He heard a little 'crack' as his right foot bent funnily.

The music stopped almost automatically, he hadn't fallen but it was obvious he had lost his balance and that all colour from his face had disappeared for a second.

Kun, who had been watching him dance, approached the boy with a concerned face. "Xuxi, you ok?" the singer asked, worry filling his tone, he had heard the pained sound that escaped Lucas's mouth when his ankle bent.

"Yeah, yeah just got dizzy for a second" Lucas said with a smile, he knew he wasn't ok, he had literally heard his foot go 'crack' but he couldn't tell Kun that, they were going to start promotions soon and he couldn't be a burden to the team.

Kun nodded and placed a hand in Lucas's hair and ruffled it sweetly. Lucas in return gave him a tired smile and leaned slightly into the touch.

The director finally noticed just how tired everyone was, especially the boys and called it a day, the scenes were pretty good and the MV was almost finished, they just needed to edit it and it would be ready to go.

One by one, the members left to the changing rooms, tired feet pounding against the floor and loud yawns breaking the relative silence in the studio. After changing they started walking to the van and it was then that Lucas noticed just in how much pain he was. Now that his body was cold, he could feel his ankle beating like his heart had decided to move there. Every step he gave would send a rush of pain through his whole foot. The short walk towards the van was plain torture for Lucas but he was convinced that some medicine and a good sleep would solve everything, at least that's what he hoped.

One thing Lucas hadn't thought of was the fact that they had to go upstairs to get to the dorm as the elevator was broken. He cursed his luck internally but still walked with the rest towards the dorm. 

After what seemed like an eternity they finally reached their dorm, the door in front of them filled them with hope, the number engraved on the door was like their lucky number for today because they were finally, finally home. When Kun opened the door, a variety of content groans were heard coming from the member's mouths and soon, everyone disappeared into their respective rooms. 

Winwin had seen Lucas's little slip while filming and he was slightly concerned for the boy. As they entered their room they both sat heavily on their beds and Winwin stared at Lucas for a second checking for any injuries or discomfort the boy might show but found nothing. 

Winwin stood up and walked towards the younger's bed and laid next to him. "Are you ok?" Lucas opened his eyes at his ge's voice, he hadn't realized Winwin had gotten that close. He gave him a nod and a small smile before humming yes. 

Winwin didn't seem convinced but he guessed it was just tiredness so he told Lucas to wash up and moved to his own bed again. 

Lucas walked towards the bathroom and locked the door, turned the shower on and started removing his clothes. He went to remove his socks when he noticed how much pain it caused him to just touch the area. Slowly, really, really slowly, he removed his right sock only to reveal an angry purple and blue ankle, he hissed not only in pain but in surprise, he hadn't expected it to be that bad. 

He showered quickly and applied some cream on his ankle hoping that for tomorrow, the pain and bruising would be gone. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
He woke up to the sound of the alarm and to a pounding, terrible pain on his leg, more specifically, on his right foot. 

Noticing Winwin wasn't in the room he sat up and removed the covers to see how bad his ankle was. As his foot was revealed he saw how the purple and blue was now purple and green, his ankle was swollen and he could feel the heat radiating from the area. Lucas panicked slightly. How was he going to promote with his members now? He couldn't let them down, he couldn't be a burden, he couldn't be weak, he needed to work and dance, he couldn't just stop for some stupid injury. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and stood up, slowly as to not cause too much pain to his ankle. The moment he placed weight on his foot, pain rushed through his entire body and he had to resist the urge to cry. He breathed a couple times and started walking towards the closet. 

He pulled a t-shirt and some pants, got ready and went to the bathroom to put some medicine on his ankle and take a painkiller. 

Just as he was coming out of the bathroom he heard Kun yelling for them to move because they were late. Lucas moved as fast as he could without causing too much pain and followed the rest. 

As they arrived at the dance studio Lucas started preparing himself for what was about to come. He was now seriously considering just staying in the van and never coming out. Kun threw him a smile and held his hand so that they would walk together. Lucas smiled because of the sweetness of the gesture, it must've been obvious that he was in some sort of discomfort for his ge to be treating him like that, and in all honesty, he was extremely grateful for the small support. 

They entered the studio, dropped their bags on the floor and started stretching. Lucas opted for some floor stretching where his foot didn't have to support much weight. 

The dance instructor arrived and so did music, the sound pounded across the room and through their ears and they started moving. At first, it hadn't been a problem for Lucas as he was under the effect of the painkillers but painkillers can only do so much when you have an almost broken ankle and you are dancing on it. 

The second song started and Lucas started to feel the pain, sharp, burning pain rushing through his foot and leg and suddenly, it was just too much for him to handle. His ankle felt like it was burning and he dropped to the floor. He had to make the pain stop somehow and that was really the only way he could think of. 

The music stopped and suddenly 6 other bodies were next to him. Lucas's pain clouded mind couldn't quite register what they were saying so he just croaked a desperate "It hurts".  
\----------------------------------------  
Kun and the rest had been dancing flawlessly until a loud thump was heard across the room, higher than the music. He turned around to see Lucas's colour drained face, watery eyes and an expression that just screamed 'pain' all over it. 

The first get to Lucas was Hendery as he had been the closest to the boy but one by one the others approached. 

Kun tried speaking to Lucas to know what was causing the boy such great discomfort but he didn't receive an answer. Hendery spoke to Lucas in Cantonese to see if maybe that helped a bit but Lucas just whimpered in pain. 

The members were starting to get desperate as Yukhei just got worse by the second until finally a little voice was heard across the room, "It hurts", a pained, little voice, Lucas's voice. 

Yukhei pointed to his right foot, shaky hands moving slowly until he reached his ankle. Kun lifted the pant's hem and Yukhei's shoe, carefully as to not cause the boy any more pain and what welcomed him made a gasp leave his mouth. 

Yukhei's ankle was different shades of blue and purple and even green in certain spots and panic filled the members. How had they not noticed and why wouldn't Yukhei tell them, did he not trust them enough? 

Thoughts like that swirled around Kun's head but then he remembered what he actually had to do, he had to take Yukhei to the hospital. 

Quickly, the dance instructor picked the injured boy up and carried him towards the van. They drove as fast as they could and in about 20 minutes they were already in the hospital. 

They checked Lucas in and the nurses took him inside. The rest of the members stood outside the door, they knew it wasn't like he was going to die but seeing Lucas in so much pain put them on edge. 

Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes like hours in that white waiting room, and suddenly, a man with a white coat called Lucas's name. The 6 boys stood up and practically run towards the doctor. The first one to ask for Lucas was Yangyang.

"He is resting now. He has a small fracture on his ankle so we placed a soft cast in him. He won't be able to put weight on his foot meaning he won't be able to walk on that foot for some time. I recommend for him to not dance or run for at least a month" the doctor said with a firm yet gentle tone. 

They told him they could go see him and they followed a nurse to Yukhei's room. When they arrived, Lucas was sitting on his bed looking at nothing in particular until the others arrived. Yangyang rushed to his side while his eyes filled with tears. Lucas hugged him tightly before letting go and looking to where the others were standing. 

The rest of the members also approached Lucas. Hendery and Xiaojun sat on the bed with Yangyang and Kun, Winwin and Ten placed some chairs beside the bed. 

Kun took the younger's hand gently and spoke. 

"You should've told us you were hurt. Do you not trust us?" Kun tried not to sound like he was accusing Yukhei but the pain in his voice was noticeable. 

Lucas quickly shook his head no. "It's not like that, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be a burden to you" Lucas said, eyes glued to his hands. 

The members were taken aback by his declaration. They would never think of him as a burden. Ten hugged the boy tightly while some revel tears escaped his eyes. 

"Are you crying? Crybaby" Yangyang said. Mocking Ten was one of his talents but what he received was a hit on his head and then he was being pulled in Ten's and Yukhei's embrace. 

At some point, they all ended up cuddling together in the small hospital bed and in a couple minutes, they were all asleep, one pressed against the other, muscles intertwined and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for taking so long on updating but I wanted to finish another book I was writing but I will be posting more from now on 💕💕
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings ❤️


	10. Baby (Hyunjin sick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Niah_C  
> Would you consider doing a Stray Kids fic? I don't really have a specific request for the storyline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this is...9 hours late but here it is. I hope you like it, in all honestly, I don't really like it so I was considering rewriting it but you tell me. 
> 
> To compensate for being late this is a 3000-word chapter so yeah. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Stray Kids had been promoting for their last album for almost 3 weeks already and it was starting to get to the boys. The usual energy having left their bodies, being replaced with annoyance, anger, sensibility and of course, because it couldn't get better, sickness. 

Sickness is something common for, you know, human beings, but for these particular human beings, getting sick meant a huge throwback, they just couldn't afford one of the members getting sick. Not like they wouldn't take care of the sick boy if someone was to fall ill, but they all knew that it was inconvenient for the team, hence, the bad habit of hiding sickness until they were at the brink of death. 

They were at vocal practice when Hyunjin felt it. His stomach gurgled and made a funny noise, luckily for him, the place was too loud for anyone to notice his upset stomach. 'Maybe he was hungry', he thought, but it was unlikely for they had eaten not too long ago and Hyunjin knew it, he just didn't want to face the fact that he was probably, and almost definitely, sick.

He had felt a hint of it while having breakfast that morning, his usual amount of food being too much for him to ingest. He had received weird looks from Minho and Chan when he pushed his almost full plate. He had gotten off the hook with an 'I'm not hungry right now' and Chan and Minho, being too tired to argue, just let it slide. It wasn't like Hyunjin had been lying, he really wasn't hungry, although the reason remained unknown... Until vocal practice of course.

As practice continued, he could feel his insides having some sort of party inside, which by the way, they hadn’t invited him to, quite disrespectful if you asked Hyunjin.

With every word that came out of his mouth, he could feel his stomach getting more and more upset. His insides were no longer having just a party, they were enjoying a full-blown Tomorrowland inside him and he could feel the cramps coming and waves of pain crushed him. 

He kept singing like nothing was happening and everything was going relatively ok until a painful cramp knocked the air out of him. It was so painful Hyunjin had the urge to just drop to the floor and cry but instead, he stood there trying not to show just in how much pain he was. 

The music kept going and without him noticing, his part came, and as expected, he missed his cue. The music stopped and only then Hyunjin noticed what had happened, too focused on not dying to notice before. The vocal coach scolded him lightly and they continued but Hyunjin could see the annoyance seeping from the other members, he saw how Chan slightly rolled his eyes, he heard Changbin’s sigh and he felt like a complete burden, they had no time for him to get sick so why couldn’t he just be strong, everyone was working just as hard, if not harder, and he couldn’t do that to them, burden them like that, he had to toughen up and continue, so that’s what he did, or at least tried to. 

He kept singing and he tried, with all his might, to concentrate on the task at hand. Focus on the music and not the pain was his moto at that moment. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone so he just kept going, even if he felt like crying and screaming and dying and he didn’t want to go on. He wanted Chan or Jisung or anyone really to cuddle him, to tell him that everything would be alright and that he wasn’t a burden but, he couldn’t do that and there was no one to tell him he would be ok so he just sang, hoping that his pain would go away soon. 

Finally, as if the gods had heard him, the instructor announced the end of practice and that the day was over, finally, finally, over. Hyunjin sighed and moved to get his bag when he felt what little he had eaten coming up his throat. 

He stopped on his tracks and breathed hoping that nausea would subside and that his breakfast would go back to its place. Just as the nausea was subsiding, someone pushed him, that someone being Felix, it wasn’t as if Felix had pushed him hard, it was just a little nudge to cue Hyunjin to move for him to take his own bag but to Hyunjin’s upset stomach, it was as if Felix had pushed him against the wall, and kicked his stomach and left him there to die, yes, that bad. 

A cramp overtook him and suddenly his breakfast was coming back full force. Hyunjin took his bag and ran to the nearest bathroom, he ran through the hallways of the seemingly never-ending building. He could feel the contents of his stomach rebelling against him and he couldn't hold it any longer. 

A red bin crossed the corner of his eyes and in his desperation, he kneeled in front of it and a wave of sick came rushing down his throat. The smell itself made him even more nauseous and at that point, the pain was starting to become unbearable. Wave after wave of sick and pain crushed him over and over again, and just like the halls of the building, they seemed never-ending.

Hyunjin's hand shook. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he felt powerless, weak, stupid, he was in pain, he wanted someone to hug him and there was no one to. He was a burden, he was stupid for thinking that someone would come for him, he was weak for getting sick and he was just in so so much pain. 

\------------------------------

Felix went to get his bag when he saw Hyunjin standing in front of it. He was not going to lie, he was a tiny bit annoyed by the boy. Everyone was in a rush to leave and Hyunjin could've just taken his bag and leave but he was standing there, interrupting him. Felix also knew that all these thoughts were coming from annoyance and from anger, anger towards himself mainly. 

He was mad that he couldn't get the dance perfectly and he felt useless and because it was a habit of his, he bottled it up. 

So yeah, he had taken out his anger onto Hyunjin, it was not obvious, but he might have pushed Hyunjin slightly harder than necessary.

What Felix was not expecting was for the boy to burst out of the room and run. 

What? The hell? Did I? AH? 

Felix's mind at that moment. 

Chan saw Hyunjin running towards the door and leaving at the speed of light. He turned to look at Felix and saw that the boy was just as lost as he was. Confusion was written all over Felix's face but Chan figured that something must have happened for Hyunjin to...escape like that. 

He walked towards Felix and asked...correction, he tried to ask. 

Chan opened his mouth but Felix spoke first.

"I have no idea what happened I swear. I pushed him to get to my bag and, I mean, yeah I might have pushed him harder than I meant to but I didn't know he would react like that. Hyung I-" Felix said in one breath, or at least that's how it sounded like, English sentences slipping here and there. 

"Hey hey chill. I just wanted to ask what had happened. I know that you didn't want to hurt Hyunjin, but we are all a bit tense these days and he hasn't been at his 100% today so don't worry, it was probably something else ok? I'll go look for him, you go to the van with the rest, yes?" Chan smiled reassuringly to the younger. 

He picked up his things from the floor as Felix exited the building. He walked through the white halls listening intently for any noise that might alert him of the other boy's presence. 

Suddenly, heavy, ugly sobs broke the silence. Chan's heart jumped and he rushed to where the sound was coming from. With every step he gave, the sobs became louder and louder. He turned a corner and saw Hyunjin kneeling in front of a bin, with tears on his face, his beautiful long hair messy and sweaty and panic rushed through his veins. 

Chan ran towards the younger boy and kneeled next to him. He picked Hyunjin's hair and placed it in a weird ponytail, cursing internally for not having the hair tie that was usually on his wrist. Only then did he realize why Hyunjin was kneeling in front of the bin. 

For some unknown reason, the putrid smell that came out of the bin and the gags that came out of the younger's mouth had slipped past Chan up until that moment. 

\---------------------------------

Hyunjin had been sitting there for what seemed like forever. 

The pain wouldn't subside and even though nothing was coming out of his mouth anymore, the nausea was still there. 

He felt like he was dying, and the worst part was that he was dying alone, it might've sounded a bit dramatic for some people but the pain had clouded the boy's mind by then. 

He heard steps and for some reason, he started crying harder, ugly sobs wracking his body. His hands shook and all he could think of was that someone was going to find him like this, sweaty, crying, weak, someone was going to see how weak he really was, how much of a burden he was to the team but even like that, he still wanted someone to hug him. 

The steps came closer and closer until they were next to him. He felt a cold hand on his head and his hair being pulled into a ponytail. He heard a gasp and guessed that the person who was next to him, whoever that was, had noticed the entirety of his state. 

Hyunjin lifted his head slightly to see who was next to him but what he didn't expect was to see his hyung's worried face. Panic rushed through him, he couldn't let Chan see him like this, he would know that he is weak, he would consider him a burden, he would be tired of him, he would...he would...

Air was not enough. His lungs hurt, his head hurt and he couldn't breathe. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him and all he could do was cry. 

Chan saw the panic, he heard the ragged breathing and for a second, only a second, he panicked too. He had helped Jisung through his attacks multiple times but this was different, not only was it a different person but there was also some guilt being carried this time. Chan felt guilty that he hadn't noticed before, guilty that he hadn't arrived sooner, guilty about rolling his eyes, guilty, guilty, guilty, but right now, it wasn't about him, he had to help Hyunjin. He had to be there for Hyunjin. 

Chan carefully took Hyunjin's hand and spoke, slowly and calmly as to not freak out the boy any more than what he already was. 

"Hey baby, can you look at me, please? Just for a second?" 

Hyunjin just kept crying, he couldn't bring himself to look at his hyung's eyes. Chan took him by the chin and gently pulled it up so that he was looking at him.

"See? You are ok" he said calmly while caressing Hyunjin's cheek, "Now do what I do...please?" Hyunjin looked at Chan, he looked at his features, his kind eyes, the little smile that escaped his lips and suddenly the world wasn't as blurry, he was ok, or at least, he was going to be ok, as long as his hyung was by his side.

Chan exaggeratedly breathed in and out, in and out, and Hyunjin tried copying it, failing miserably the first time, making him panic before Chan reassured him once again, that he was ok. 

After some minutes, Hyunjin was breathing normally again and the world had stopped spinning. His stomach on the other side was hurting 10 times more than what it had been before but at least now, he had Chan with him. 

Hyunjin pressed his forehead against Chan's chest and whimpered like a lost puppy. The oldest caressed his head and ruffled his hair trying to soothe the pained boy. 

"Baby, you want to go to the bathroom so that we are not in the middle of the hallway?"

Hyunjin nodded weakly.

"You think you can walk there?" 

Hyunjin thought hard for a second before concluding that his stomach wouldn't let him do the excruciating task that was standing up at that moment so he just shook his head no and looked at Chan miserably. 

Chan smiled lightly before carrying the boy bride style and walking through the halls towards the nearest bathroom. He would have to go back to get that poor red bin so that the cleaning lady wouldn't have to, but that was for later, right now, he had to get Hyunjin to the bathroom before he threw up all over them.

They got to the bathroom and Chan closed the door behind them. Hyunjin sat in front of the toilet immediately, already feeling the contents inside his stomach, or rather the lack of, rebelling. 

Chan sat next to him and started rubbing his back. He fixed the younger's hair once again and tied it up with a hair tie he had found in his pocked earlier. 

"I'm going to call Minho and tell him what's happening ok?" 

Hyunjin nodded, not really registering what Chan had said, too busy trying not to puke to actually focus.

Chan left for a second to call Minho and when he returned, Hyunjin had his head resting on the bathroom's wall and Chan was almost completely sure his face was paler than when he left. 

He sat next to the sick boy, took his head and placed it on his shoulder so that the boy would be more comfortable. 

That is how Minho found them, sitting on the floor with Hyunjin almost asleep on Chan's shoulder and a breath of relief escaped Minho's mouth. He was expecting to see an extremely upset Hyunjin and a stressed Chan but that wasn't the case here. He would've taken a picture if it wasn't for the fact that he did notice the paleness decorating Hyunjin's face and how the boy whimpered from time to time so the priority right then, was getting the boy some medicine, a shower and to bed. 

Carefully, Chan carried Hyunjin to the van while Minho carried their bags. No major incidents happened while walking to the van other than the occasional whimper from Hyunjin here and there. 

The other members were waiting in the van and different types of sounds escaped their mouths when they saw Hyunjin but before they made even more fuzz Minho and Chan quieted them down. 

They placed Hyunjin in the back seat, his legs resting on Jisung and his head on Felix's lap. He woke up for a few seconds before going back to his fitful sleep. 

The trip back to the dorms was relatively peaceful. They stopped for some medicine on the way, some crackers, painkillers and a lot, a lot of Gatorade because at that point, the boy might have thrown up every liquid inside his body, at least that's what Jeongin had said. 

The ride was going smoothly, everyone was chatting and Felix was caressing Hyunjin's head until the boy shot up from his seat and placed a hand on his mouth. Changbin was the first to react. He threw the contents that were inside the pharmacy's bag to the floor and placed it under Hyunjin's chin. 

The boy heaved but nothing came up, he was dizzy and everything hurt but he didn't want to throw up again, the thought sending shivers down his spine.

"It's ok baby, you don't have to hold it," Jisung said while rubbing his back but Hyunjin didn't want to, he didn't want everyone to see him like this but above all, he wanted everything to stop. 

He cried, he cried because he was in pain, he was embarrassed, he felt powerless and weak and...

"Baby I need you to breathe. Breathe for me ok?" 

He heard Chan saying and suddenly he was being pulled into the older's embrace, his thoughts were now focused only on his hyung's heartbeat, on his voice on every breath he gave and suddenly breathing became easier, suddenly he was no longer drowning, suddenly, his hyung's voice was louder than the pain and slowly, he fell asleep again.

When he woke up again he was on Chan's bed and Jeongin was curled up against him. His head was hurting but that was pretty much it, yes, he felt drowsy and bloated but no more cramps or nausea. He sighed, it was finally over, whatever he had had was some type of either, food of the devil or virus of the devil. 

Hyunjin was too immersed in his thoughts to notice Seungmin entering the room so when the boy suddenly appeared in his field of vision he jumped slightly. Seungmin laughed lightly and lied next to him, they were both looking at each other when tears appeared in Seungmin's eyes. 

"You can't do something like this ever again. I was scared" the younger said while cleaning his tears with his hand. Hyunjin turned to completely face the boy, carefully moving Jeongin, "I'm sorry" he was truly sorry for worrying Seungmin, he wouldn't have guessed that a slight stomachache would turn into living hell. 

Seungmin smiled at Hyunjin, he shook his head no and placed a hand on Hyunjin's head. 

"I'm just glad that you are ok now" 

Hyunjin smiled at that, he really wasn't a burden for them, was he? They all loved him and he just came to realize that now. It was really dumb of him to think that he was not wanted. 

Tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"Hyunjin!? Are you in pain again?!" Seungmin said while sitting up, slightly panicked. Hyunjin laughed and pulled him back down, he shook his head no and just looked at the younger. 

Seungmin didn't understand what was happening exactly but he was happy that the boy was ok, and that he was now smiling and not in pain. 

They stayed like that for a while until, without realizing, they both fell asleep. Jeongin woke up some minutes later, only to find Seungmin and Hyunjin asleep next to him and seeing as he was still tired, he snuggled up and fell asleep again. 

Chan and Minho went to check up on Hyunjin only to find him between Jeongin and Seungmin peacefully sleeping. They both took pictures of the cute moment and decided that they would be lying with them, letting exhaustion catch up on them and finally, falling asleep. 

Changbin, Felix and Jisung were the next to fall prey to the comfy looking bed and eventually, the 8 boys were asleep and even if some of them were almost on the floor, they were happy because Hyunjin was ok, and because they were together and that was enough for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taran! That was it. Tell me if you like it or not. 
> 
> Aaand expect the next update to be up on Friday.
> 
> Ps: I just realized that there are like different time zones, so when I say "today" it might be 23:00 for someone and...yeah, I don't know if that made any sense :)
> 
> Anyways,
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings


	11. Tears (Seonghwa)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Awesome_sauce0414
> 
> Can you do a story about Minho from stray kids or seonghwa from ateez where they are tired of being the mom of the group and they feel that they can't add enough for the team?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I'm late, on my defence, my computer died and then revived but the document wasn't as lucky so this is the rewritten version of this chapter lol
> 
> Sooo I hope you like it, I don't know if it's quite like you imagined but I still hope you like it.
> 
> Thank you for requesting this.

Seonghwa was the mum of the group, Seonghwa took care of the members when in pain, Seonghwa took care of the members when their heart ached, Seonghwa rubbed their backs when they threw up, held their hands when they were cold, led the way when they were lost, but, there was no one to do that for Seonghwa.

Don't get me wrong, Seonghwa loved taking care of his members, it was his way of showing how much he loved them. Sometimes though, he needed someone to take care of him just like he did for the rest. 

He had been feeling down for some time now, waking up in the mornings had become harder, smiling for the cameras faker and overall moving had become heavy. He had expected someone to notice how his movements became sluggish, someone to notice how his smile disappeared once the cameras did, especially those who lived with him and spent most of his time with him but apparently, no one had, apparently, he was not important enough for them to notice things like those. 

Thoughts like those crossed Seonghwa's mind more than once and, he understood that they were busy with promotions and all but, were they really too busy for him?

Probably yes.

He knew that he was usually the one to take care of the members but was it too much to ask to be left alone while reading on the couch? Did Wooyoung and San really had to be clingy on that precise moment or was it that they just didn't see how unhappy Seonghwa was?

He also knew that the leader always meant good, he always wanted what was best for the team...or at least that's what Seonghwa thought before they had all gone out to eat, per invitation of Hongjoong...without him. 

One by one Seonghwa's conception of the members changed and yes, to anyone with a little bit of rationality it would sound exaggerated to say that his love for them was growing smaller because of those little actions but, Seonghwa's mind was no longer 100% rational, rationality had been replaced by anxiety and overthinking and everything just seemed hurtful.

Can you really blame him though? He was in pain and no one noticed, not even those whom he called family. Anyone would go insane.

\----------------------------------  
Contrary to Seonghwa's belief, the members had noticed. I mean, of course they would notice, they spent almost 24 hours of the day together, it would be quite stupid if they wouldn't have noticed. 

San and Wooyoung had been especially clingy with the oldest. They wanted to show how much they loved him through some good old physical contact. Usually, the oldest would reciprocate their hugs and kisses but for the past few weeks, all they got was exasperated sighs and a few eye rolls, so they stopped trying, not wanting to annoy him anymore.

Hongjoong had noticed the eyes bags hanging from Seonghwa's eyes. He noticed how his limbs seemed to move slower and slower when they were on dance practice. He decided he would give Seonghwa a very well deserved rest and he would take the youngers out so they wouldn't bother him. 

He never would've imagined that he would be causing pain to his friend. 

\-----------------------------

The air in the group had become tense. Every time someone would speak to Seonghwa, the answer would be short and cold, so unlike him, it sent shivers down their spines. 

Yunho stood up from his place in the dance studio and approached the oldest who was sitting in another corner, completely alone. He placed a hand on his shoulder and sat next to him. Seonghwa turned his head to see who was the intruder of his space for a spare second before focusing on his phone again. 

Yunho thought that was weird, usually, Seonghwa would welcome him with a smile and even place his arm around his shoulders from time to time but he didn't expect for the boy to have no reaction at all. 

"Hyung" Yunho spoke, the room silent, all focusing on the interaction between the two members, "What's wrong?" he asked. He could feel his throat tightening, it killed him seeing his hyung like that and he just wanted everything back to normal. He wanted everyone to laugh, to smile...he wanted his hyung to laugh and smile and play and...he just wanted Seonghwa back.

Seonghwa turned his head to see him, a cold expression adorning his features once again and a quick shiver ran down Yunho's spine. 

They stared at each other for some seconds before the oldest turned back to his phone and completely ignored the question. Why would they care now? They had been oblivious to his pain for so long, what made them think that he would just let them in like that?

Yunho's eyes filled with tears. 

"Hyung!!" he screamed while he let the tears run freely down his cheeks. The whole group got startled by the sudden outburst of the boy. It was unlike him to lose his composure like that but, at that point, everyone doubted they knew each other, at the end of the day, they couldn't even make Seonghwa speak. 

"Stop...stop being...be my hyung again!!" Yunho said through tears and broken sobs. His heart felt like it had moved to his ears, his hands shook with pure anger and sadness, his legs shook for a second and he thought he was falling before composing himself again.

Yeosang quickly stood up and walked beside the boy, he put an arm around his waist as a way of support but was met by Yunho's hand taking his arm away. Yeosang was scared for a second before noticing that all Yunho wanted to do, was hold his hand.

\----------------------------  
Seonghwa jumped slightly at the loud sound. Yunho had screamed at him. Yunho. 

He had never heard the boy raise his voice like that. He had never seen such pained expression adorning the boy's features. He had never....he had never felt so much pain before.

Seeing the younger break down like that broke him. He felt as if his heart had been clenched to the point where it had been broken. With every tear that ran down Yunho's cheek, he felt as if his heart broke into even more pieces and suddenly, without him noticing, his own tears were running free. 

His hands dropped his phone and his legs were moving before he realized. 

He went to touch Yunho but his mind told him not to and, to no one's surprise, his mind won the battle. His arm dropped and while looking at his dongsaeng's face he felt a wave of disgust overcoming him, he was disgusted by himself, disgusted by his mind, disgusted, disgusted, disgusted and without much thought, he ran.

His legs moved faster and faster and he ran until he found the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and dropped to his knees as ugly sobs wracked through his body. He felt as if with every breath he took, the room became smaller and he was being crushed under it. His heart was racing and he could no longer see straight through the tears.

Suddenly, a noise was filling the room. 

Knock, knock, knock

With every second that went by the knocking became more intense but he couldn't bring himself to open the door.

"Hyung I'm coming in" Yunho's voice was heard from the other side of the door and in a couple minutes, his figure was crossing the door, closing the door behind him.

Seonghwa curled even tighter on himself, the crushing feeling overwhelming him.

Yunho sat next to him and engulfed him in his arms while he whispered sweet nothings to the oldest. 

"You are ok, ssshhh" Yunho kept repeating and Seonghwa doesn't know when, but at some point, he started to believe the boy. Maybe he was ok, yes, he was ok, he was ok, and on repeat, over and over in his head until his breathing evened out and his heart went back to its place. 

Even though his sobs had subsided, Yunho wasn't letting go, he kept Seonghwa tight on his embrace as he evened out his own breathing. 

"Hyung" Yunho spoke, a small, croaky voice breaking the silence, "You...you have to tell us when these things happen, you can't just deal with everything alone. We are here, we have always been here and we will always be here when you want to cry or when you feel you can't breathe, we are here and we are not going anywhere ok?" he finished the sentence with tears in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Seonghwa was shocked, he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, like the chains that had been tying him up to the dark were finally cut off and for the first time in some time, he felt truly, very happy. There engulfed in the younger's embrace, he cried, pained, yet happy tears staining his shirt. 

Once the tears stopped and all that was left were small hiccups, they walked out of the room where other 6 members waited. 

Wooyoung, San and Mingi engulfed him in a tight hug and soon, Hongjoong and Yeosang were joining the hug too. 

They talked and talked and talked until they felt that every possible thing to say had been said and now, there were no more tears, just smiles and yes a couple of teasing here and there and they knew, they very well knew that Seonghwa's pain wasn't just going to dissappear, it was going to take time, sweet words and a lot of love but they would get there, together, always together. Now, they were back to normal and Yunho was happy that they were finally smiling and laughing and playing but most of all, that he had his hyung back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chachaaaan!!! Did you like it? 
> 
> Soooo, eeeeh today I have nothing to say xd
> 
> Ah ah ah no right I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY  
> hehe
> 
> so, I find it a bit unfair that the people who have requested recently will have to wait for like 2 months for their requests to appear soo, I'm going to do this. I'll post one chapter from the top (requests on the top of the list) and one of the bottom. But, I still want to know if you guys would like this or if I should just continue doing it as I have been doing. 
> 
> That's all
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings


	12. Am I important? (Jisung SKZ injured)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Sungshine_19
> 
> Hello! Can I request a Stray Kids Jisung sick fic??
> 
> Where something happened to both Jisung and Felix but the members only got worried on Felix well-being, especially Chan. They didn't ask if Jisung was okay so Jisung kept silent that he is hurt too (sick or injured, it's up to you). But then one-day Jisung can't take it anymore and he collapsed or something? Then the members regret everything. The ending is up to you! Thank you in advance <3 Fighting <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for recommending this!!!!  
> I hope you like it and that it's like you imagined it. 
> 
> I'm sorry for taking so long :((((((

The music boomed through the speakers. Their muscles moved on beat incessantly, coordinated. Hard breathing could be heard across the room, the boys huffed, warm air coming out of their mouths. Everything inside that room was harmonic, everything and everyone moved how they were supposed to. There were no slips, no mishaps.

Until there was. 

A loud crash was heard, the sound of the music suddenly muted. Chan turned around to see where the deafening sound had come from only to find two of his members laying on the floor. The music stopped and loud steps were heard instead. 

Felix grunted while on the floor, his head was pounding and he couldn't quite remember how he had gotten there in the first place. He opened his eyes carefully, only to find a seemingly unmoving Jisung next to him. Panic rushed through his veins and his breathing hitched for a minute before noticing how the other boy's arm moved to his head. 

He sighed, Jisung was not dead...good.

Big hands were suddenly on him or to be more specific, on his head and someone was speaking but he couldn't figure out what the person was saying and...when had he closed his eyes again?

As he tried and focus he noticed that the words being spoken by the unknown human being were in English and if he paid more attention, he could tell that it had a familiar accent although he still couldn't figure out who it was. 

Little by little though, the pounding in his head was subsiding and the voices were clearer, and it was then that he noticed who the owner of the voice was. 

Chan was the one speaking, he sounded scared, panicked even, why?

Ah right, he was lying on the floor, with his eyes closed. 

...that reminded him that he should probably open his eyes now if he didn't want Chan to go on a stroke or something. 

\---------------------------------------------------  
Jisung saw how the water spilt, he saw how Felix's feet stepped on it, he saw them twisting funnily and suddenly, Felix's body was collapsing against him. He raised his arms to try and catch Felix but when he felt his head crashing against the hard wooden floor, everything went black. 

Voices swam in the ocean of darkness that his head had become and the louder they became, the more pain he felt in his head. A buzzing sound filled his ears and, pounding filled his head and everything was just so overwhelming. 

He tried opening his eyes only for his vision to swim and black dots to appear as if they were taking over his eyes. A desperate and pained groan escaped his lips and he lifted his hand to his head in an attempt to make the pounding stop. 

As the pain and buzzing in his ears subsided, he opened his eyes. He saw Felix next to him, eyes closed and pained expression adorning his features. Jisung was sure he had tried saving Felix from the inevitable crash with the floor but apparently, it had just happened in his imagination. 

He tried moving his arm to touch Felix, but he found his own eyes closing once again. He fought against the urge of closing them and saw dark, blurry figures rushing towards them. 

"The members", he thought. And with that in mind, he let himself get sucked into darkness again. 

The next time light appeared in his line of vision, someone was shaking him and as he opened his eyes, a figure emerged. At first, it was full of dark spots and blurry lines but as minutes, or hours in Jisung's mind passed, the figure was clearer, revealing Jeongin's face. 

Jisung carried his hand towards his eyes to try and rub off the remaining black spots and some of the blurriness in his eyes. 

Jeongin placed a hand on the oldest's face in an attempt to draw the boy's attention to him. Jisung's eyes seemed unfocused and like he was staring into space but, in reality, all Jisung was trying to do is get rid of the annoying black dots that still swam through his vision. 

His head felt as if it had been drilled over and over again for years and then when they had finally stopped, he had hit it with a brick. In summary, he felt like...shit, yes, that was the best description. 

He closed his eyes once more, too tired and in pain to deal with the room's bright light. 

He felt Jeongin's hand on his cheek and his forehead, he felt the light pats the boy gave him but he just couldn't bring himself to open his eyes again. Jeongin kept patting him and as time passed by, the pats became more intense and desperate so Jisung decided that it was time for him to face the excruciating light once again.

When he opened his eyes, he expected to be welcomed by pain and more black spots but to his surprise, he could see now, no more blurry lines or black spots and he sighed in relief. 

Jeongin also sighed seeing as his hyung was finally more awake than before. 

"Hyung?" the younger asked softly, trying not to startle the injured boy. 

Jisung's eyes flew right to Jeongin's face, and he managed a small smile before dropping the grin and replacing it with a pained expression and a groan. The headache was there again and, even though it was not as bad as it had been before, it still bothered him and the lights were definitely not helping. 

"Jeongin-ah, can you please turn off the lights" he managed to croak in a small, almost broken voice. Jeongin was startled of hearing his hyung's voice for a second before running to do what Jisung had asked. 

"Is your head hurting a lot?" Jeongin asked carefully once he returned. A small nod was the only answer he received. 

Now that the lights were off though, he dared to open his eyes fully and appreciating the scenery when it suddenly hit him...Felix.

With a rushed move, that he later regretted, he sat up looking frantically to the side where he had seen Felix last, he found no one next to him, and now that he analyzed the room better, he noticed that the only ones in there were Jeongin and himself. 

"They went to the hospital," Jeongin said. Panic rushed through Jisung's veins. Could Felix be still unconscious? Is he alright? Did something really bad happen to him? 

Thoughts swam in Jisung's mind, leaving his pain on the background for a minute. Apparently, his face was clearly showing what he was thinking because Jeongin placed a hand on his shoulder and made him lie down again. 

"Calm down, you're going to make yourself pass out again," he said with a small, yet, worried smile." Felix is ok don't worry, he woke up before you did but he had twisted his ankle when you guys fell so they decided to take him to the hospital to get his ankle checked and his head too" with these words Jisung visibly relaxed, "When you guys fell, you covered Felix and prevented him from falling too hard. Hyung you can now say you're a hero" the youngest said with a sheepy smile adorning his face. At this, Jisung laughed slightly, their maknae was indeed, really cute, the fans were right. 

Then realization hit him like a truck. They, all 5 of them went to the hospital with Felix, with a conscious, probably speaking, Felix and they had left him there, in the dance studio, unconscious with only one member, and to top it all, with the youngest member. Like, honestly, what the hell had gone through their minds when they left him there. 

He was angry, but most of all, he was disappointed, disappointed of himself for thinking that he was important to anyone, disappointed of his members for not considering him important enough, disappointed of his manager for agreeing to leave him there, disappointed at...of...he...fuck it. 

He stood up and ignored the wave of dizziness and nausea that overcame him. Jeongin looked at him startled.

"Let's go home yes?" Jisung said while extending his hand to the youngest who was still on the floor. Jeongin looked at him for a few seconds, searching for any sign of discomfort the boy might be feeling but found nothing so he just took his hand and stood up, flashing a big smile to the oldest. 

"Yes!!" Jeongin said and ran to where the exit was. 

As Jisung watched how the maknae ran to pick his things up, he let himself feel all the pain he was feeling.

He was in so, so much pain, not only physical pain because his head still felt as if his brain was trying to squeeze out of his skull, and he was dizzy and nauseous but most of all, he was in a lot, a lot of emotional pain, he felt used and hated and he just wanted to curl up in bed and cry even if it hurt his head even more so he just walked to where Jeongin was as he held back his tears hoping for the pain to end. 

Many would say he was overreacting, that he was a cry-baby, that he was exaggerating and maybe it was true, but his anxiety, his old friend, was the cause of it all because no one could understand the way his brain played with him, how its main purpose was to self-destruct so no, he was not overreacting or exaggerating, he was letting his brain take control. 

\-----------------------------------------------  
The two boys walked in silence back to the dorm. Step after step, crossing streets and exchanging a couple of words here and there but overall, it was comfortable. 

Once they arrived at the dorm, Jeongin pulled out his keys, Jisung was grateful for that because he was sure that if he even tried putting the keys in the keyhole, he would fail miserably. 

"Are you sure you're ok? You were out for a long time," the youngest said as he stepped into the apartment. 

Jisung hummed a response while flashing a smile at the youngest. 

Jeongin wasn't fully convinced, but he assumed that if his hyung said he was alright, then it must be true, so he let the topic slide. 

Sluggishly, they took their shoes off, every movement making Jisung's head spin and his stomach dance. He reassured Jeongin once more that he was alright and disappeared into his room. 

Once he was in the safety of his room, at least until the others arrived, he let himself go. He carried himself to his bed. He brought his pillow to his chest and allowed the tears that had been threatening to fall, finally run down his cheeks. Choked sobs escaped his mouth, worsening his headache but alleviating the pain he felt in his heart, at least the tiniest bit. 

Little by little, he fell asleep, with tears in his eyes and pain in his...everywhere. 

A few hours had passed when he heard the door opening, and closing, he heard steps and voices, he felt Jeongin walking from his room to the living room and he decided that he was going out. Maybe, just maybe, the others had just thought that it was better if he stayed in the studio with Jeongin, maybe when he went out they would be worried and, they would ask him if he was ok and then they would hug him. 

Yes, that was what would happen.

As he stood up, a wave of dizziness and nausea took over him, making him double over. He breathed through his mouth, one, two, three times. He felt his stomach doing somersaults and his head spinning like it was in a never-ending merry go round. He waited for a bit before nausea and pain subsided and he decided he was ok enough to go and see the others. 

He stepped out of his room and slowly walked towards the living room. There he found Felix sitting on the couch with a cast on his foot, Chan was next to him. Changbin and Hyunjin were sitting on the floor and seemed to be arguing about something, probably something dumb like what they would have for dinner, or what Avengers movie was the best, Jisung thought. 

Seungmin was just sitting when Jeongin and Minho walked out of the kitchen and noticed Jisung's presence in the room. 

"Oh! Hyung, you're awake!" Jeongin said with a smile on his face, attracting the attention of the others. 

Felix turned his head immediately.

"Jisung! Are you-" Felix tried saying but was cut by Changbin saying "See! I told you he was fine" to Hyunjin, who just looked at Jisung and smiled, so did Minho. 

"You joining us?" Seungmin said with a semi-smile on his face.

Chan didn't even raise his head from his phone where he was apparently looking for something for Felix. 

Jisung felt tears welling up in his eyes and started walking back to his room. He didn't want to see the other members ever again. He turned around and started walking down the hall when he heard his name being called. He stopped on his tracks just to listen to what Chan was telling him.

"Can you go buy some snacks for Felix and us?" 

What?

Had they...had he not seen him lying unconscious on the floor? Had they not seen his pained expression? The tears on his eyes? 

Jisung kept walking the seemingly never-ending hall, he entered his room and locked the door not caring about how the other members were going to sleep. 

He threw himself on his bed and cried, no, he didn't just cry, he sobbed, ugly, loud sobs tearing his body apart, wrecking him, just how their words, or rather, lack of, had wrecked him. 

He cried and cried for what seemed like hours before falling asleep, with no one by his side and no one to support him.

It was probably 3:00 AM next time he woke up, with a nauseating feeling hanging in his throat and a terrible headache. He tried going back to sleep when he felt everything he had eaten that day coming back through his oesophagus.

He stood up, opened the door of the room and ran to the bathroom. As soon as his knees touched the cold tile floor, he was expelling all the contents inside his stomach into the toilet, colouring the once clean water with the horribly smelling liquid. 

Round after round of vomit came up his throat and splashed on the toilet water. He tried to stop the thick fluid that kept coming out of him, he tried to stop the excruciating pain in his head and he tried to breathe, to get some air in his poor lungs but it seemed it was impossible. 

Minutes that seemed like hours passed and the poor boy had finally stopped throwing up. He was taking gasps of air trying to make up for all the air that he had missed, his head was hunched against the toilet as he tried to control his breathing and as the cold of the tiles got to him, he started shivering. 

Jisung whimpered miserably as the pain in his head seemed to worsen by the second. He stood up slowly, careful as to not fall over. He walked to the living room where he assumed the others were sleeping. 

He saw them sleeping there, comfortably and he was oh so jealous of them being able to sleep like that but before going deeper into that train of thoughts, he reminded himself that he had a more pressing matter to attend to, like, not dying for example. 

He tried approaching them to wake someone up but before he could move, he saw black spots dancing in his vision, blurry lines and then, nothing, nothingness engulfed him and for once in the whole day, he was not in pain.

\--------------------------------------------  
Felix woke up with a loud crash. He sat up startled, making his head hurt slightly with the motion, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room and when they finally did, he was horrified at what he saw. 

Jisung lied on the floor, completely unmoving with a tray of blood running down his forehead.

Felix tried standing up and running to him forgetting how his foot was in a cast and when he realized, he screamed, he called the others over and over while desperate tears rolled down his cheeks. 

The others woke up startled with confused and panicked expressions adorning their features. At first, they all focused on Felix until the boy said through his tears "Jisung" and pointed to the direction where the other boy lied unmoving. 

A gasp coming from Minho's mouth was heard and in a second they were all rushing towards Jisung. 

"Hyunjin bring me a wet towel!!" Chan screamed while attempting to make the bleeding stop. 

As Hyunjin approached the bathroom, a foul smell hit his nose and as he inspected the room deeper, he noticed vomit in the toilet and a pang of guilt hit him. They had been so blind, no, so stupid and selfish and complete assholes. 

He quickly flushed the toilet and rushed to get the wet towel he had been asked to bring and then ran back to the living room where he found Seungmin comforting a sobbing Felix and Jeongin, Changbin calling an ambulance and Chan and Minho taking care of Jisung. 

He approached with the wet towel and gave little taps to where the blood was coming from. A small smile appeared on his lips as he saw Jisung's eyes fluttering open.

"Hi baby," Hyunjin said while a rebel tear rolled down his cheek.

A little hum came out of the injured boy.

Hyunjin removed Jisung's hair from his face carefully. More tears rolled down his cheeks and this time, he didn't even try to hide them.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry...so, so sorry" 

Jisung saw the scene and even in his pained and clouded mind, he knew that Hyunjin was sorry and when he saw Chan and Minho's face, he knew they felt guilty too. He heard the boy's sobs behind him and even if it sounded terrible, a wave of relief washed over him because now he knew that they cared about him, that he wasn't just someone filling empty space and that, even if sometimes they made mistakes and they didn't show him how much they cared, Jisung was important to them. 

Jisung closed his eyes once again, and this time, he was peaceful and painless, and happy. 

\--------------------------------------------  
The next time he woke up, he was in a white room that beeped like it was the end of the world and...for heaven's sake, can someone shut those beeping sounds???

He was more awake now...the beeping being the culprit of course, but when he saw his members around him, the beeping moved to the background. 

Felix's face was stained with tears, his eyes were puffy and he seemed distressed even in his sleep. 

"Jisung?" Chan's voice broke the relative silence. Jisung turned his head to see where the voice had come from and he found a broken, sad, teary Chan, an image he had only seen when Felix and Minho were removed from the group all those years ago. 

"I'm sorry," he said while tears rolled down. "I'm really, really sorry" he choked out. 

Jisung smiled lightly and moved his hand so that it was on top of Chan's.

"It's ok, it's ok, I forgive you," Jisung said with a raspy voice "Just promise you won't leave me to die like that ever again," he said with a smile, Chan laughed lightly while wiping the tears from his face. 

"So you forgive me too?" Felix's voice sounded through the room. 

Jisung just laughed and nodded. 

Soon, they were all up and soon as well, they were all laughing and having fun. They promised to never, ever do something like that again and Jisung knew that everything was ok and that they loved him just as much as he loves them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a ROUGH two weeks but I'm still sorry for not uploading :(((
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. Memories (Haechan Fic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: NCT Love
> 
> Hiiii can I request an NCT one where Haechan feels like he's to annoying do he withdraws and no one realises until he gets physically hurt somehow but doesn't say anything cuz he doesn't want to bother the members and make them hate him more, and they only realise they fucked up when he collapses in the middle of a live stage/event?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO, here it is. This is the first part of a, well, 2 part request. I got kinda deviated but, we will get there hehehe I just kinda got caught up in the backstory :3
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this andddd 
> 
> Thank you for requesting this :)

Haechan knew he was annoying, he knew he could be a lot to handle. He knew, he knew, he knew...he just didn't know how annoying he could get. 

Haechan was currently walking down the street that led to the company, mask and hat on as always. His fingers danced against his phone while music boomed through the earplugs that he was wearing. 

He was excited, to say the least, for no particular reason really, he just wanted to get to the company building fast so that he could hang out with the Dream members, all the 127 promotions had left him with almost no time to see his younger friends. 

As he walked down the crowded street someone bumped into him. Haechan didn't pay it much attention until he raised his head and noticed who the person was. A familiar face appeared, a familiar face that he wished he wasn't familiar with. 

"Hey!! Look where you're goi-" shock crossed the other boy's face before it was replaced with a malicious grin. "Ah, it's you. Haven't seen you for some time!" the mysterious boy said while placing one of his arms in Haechan's back. Shivers rolled down Hyuk's spine. "Where have you been hiding ah? You little piece of shit" the carefree tone suddenly disappearing, being replaced with a dead, breathy tone. 

Hyuk laughed uncomfortably trying to shake the feeling of terror that overwhelmed him. "I-I, me, I-" he repeated, unable to form coherent sentences. "I see...you're still as slow as I remember. Being an idol hasn't helped one bit has it?" the boy said, his grin expanding to form a complete smile, a malicious smile, a smile drawn by the devil himself. 

"No!!" Haechan said, before noticing how loud he had spoken and how the hand on his back had started pressing harder against his skin. "No," he said, quieter this time, "I-I am not...not slow, and I am not scared of y-you" 

"Riiight, well, I'm sorry but your shaking hands tell me otherwise you smartass" 

Haechan looked at his hands, he noticed how they were not the only part of his body that was shaking, his legs shook like they were made of jelly and he felt like he would fall at any minute now, his fingers shook uncontrollably, his breathing was uneven, it forced him to count down from 10 in a futile attempt of calming down. 

"So, you still as annoying as always?" the boy asked leaning onto Haechan even more. "I am not!... I am not annoying" 

"You are not annoying huh?" he said, emphasizing every word so that every each one of them had power over Haechan. "You sure about that?" he asked, making Haechan look up to meet the other's eyes.

"I mean, I bet you've never asked the other members if you're annoying right? They probably find you unbearable and are only with you because they have to," he said, every word feeling like venom being injected directly into Haechan's veins. 

"But, anyway, I'm just saying. See you!" a fruity tone suddenly taking over the boy's voice. 

Haechan stood there as he watched the other walk away, his back suddenly disappearing in the crowd. He was shaking, badly. He could feel the tears starting to spill and roll down his cheeks. Hyuk carried his shaking hand to his eyes to clean the tears but found himself unable to move one finger, all he could do was stand in that busy street of Seoul with no one by his side but the fear that that boy could come back, come back for him. 

He managed to carry his shaking body to a lonely alley. He took his phone out of his pocket and called his manager to tell him that he was not feeling good and to please, please just take him home. His manager promised to be there in 10 minutes, and he hung up, leaving Haechan with nothing but a tsunami of memories that threatened to flood his mind.

\-----------------------------------------

Not many people know this but, before SM, there was another company, another company where all his insecurities were born. 

Haechan was new in the company, the new, fresh...meat for the bullies. He has always been the happy go lucky human being that people know. His personality has always been bubbly and he actually thought there was nothing wrong with how he was, or at least, no one had ever told him that he was wrong, that was until Hajoon came into his life. 

As the new kid and the social butterfly he had always been, the first thing he did when he arrived at the company was to make friends, and even if not everyone became his friend, they all liked him.

Hyuk was peacefully washing his hands when he felt someone push him from behind. He turned his head just to find Hajoon, a tall, athletic kid that was maybe 2 years older than him, accompanied by other two kids whose faces Hyuk couldn't quite recognize. 

Haechan laughed awkwardly and tried to walk past the three of them only to be pushed back making him stumble and fall onto the cold, hard tile floor of the bathroom.

"So, Hyuk..." Hajoon said, his voice cold, almost as if his only whisper could freeze you in place and never let you go. "I've been watching you and I've noticed...just how very, very fucking annoying you are," he said, this time louder. His booming voice resonating through the stalls, bouncing against the walls and against Haechan's brain. 

Haechan just looked at the other's eyes, fear seeping through his pores, hands shaking, and Hajoon had only said one sentence. "I figured you know...we could teach you proper manners," the boy said, grin pasted on his lips. "We could teach you, to shut your fucking mouth" this last sentence was accompanied with a hand running through Hyuk's hair.

Haechan noticed the hand, he heard the words but was too petrified to do anything. Taller, stronger people had looked down onto him, had told him nasty things but never in his whole entire life had he felt as afraid as the mere voice of this boy made him feel. 

The hand went from softly caressing his hair to suddenly entangling his fingers on the brown strands. Haechan felt the pressure increasing and all he could do was stare at those black eyes that stared back at him as if they were analyzing his soul. 

Suddenly...pain. Hajoon pulled Haechan's hair so hard Hyuk felt as if his skin was going to tear apart. A scream escaped Haechan's mouth as he tried to free himself from the other's strong grip. Tears started rolling down his cheeks as Hajoon used his grip to pull the boy up.

"See, this is what happens when dumb kids like you are too annoying" 

Haechan tried to wiggle away from his grip to no avail, only causing him more pain. His tears turned into sobs and soon enough he was almost screaming, he didn't know how no one had heard him because right now he needed help, someone to save him and take him away from these boys.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain burn his skin and the urge to scream filled his body but before he opened his mouth, one of the boys covered his mouth drowning his pained noises in his hand.

Only then, with a hand against his mouth and fingers entangled in his hair did he notice what was the cause of the overwhelming pain on his side. A lighter pressed against his skin, burning it, leaving ugly, red marks on his body and fear mixed with the pain that he felt and he screamed, or at least tried to for the hand against his mouth hadn't disappeared. 

When they finally let him go, he had blood running down his side, his cheeks were stained with tears, his scalp stung and hurt, his mouth had red marks surrounding his lips and his whole body shook. 

"This, baby boy, is what happens when you're fucking annoying," Hajoon said while taking the shaking boy's chin. 

The three boys left the room and Haechan felt as if the air had been kicked out of his lungs. His knees touched the cold, hard tile floor and sobs wracked his body. He stayed there for a bit, in the same position, curled up in a ball, shaking, bloody and completely, absolutely, terrified.

After some minutes, he stood up, washed his face and looked at his reflection expecting to see someone or something better but what stared back at him was the reflection of a scared, broken boy. 

For the next few weeks, he tried to avoid at all cost the three boys, especially Hajoon. He had encountered them a couple of times, but other than some harsh words and a slap here and there, nothing terrible had happened. He noticed though, that kids had started to ignore him and some of them had even called him annoying a couple times, and at some point, he started to believe that their words were true, that he was indeed, annoying and unwanted and it hurt him. 

He had left the company sometime after that, unable to handle the loneliness and fear that overcame him every time he stepped foot on that building. 

When he arrived at SM, he had been scared at first, terrified of finding someone like Hajoon, terrified of being alone again but to his surprise, he didn't find a Hajoon, he found Mark and his goofy laugh, he found Jaemin and Jeno, he found Taeyong and, although he had never told them what had happened in the other company they always treated him like...well, like a human being.

Little by little, he learnt that he was not annoying, that he was loved just how he was and that those kids were wrong, not him. 

Even though he had learnt that, now, in that precise moment, in that dark alley, with shaking hands and teary eyes, he was that little scared boy again. Memories flooded his mind and quickly, his brain was taking him through the darkest of places. The scar on his side felt as if it was being burnt all over again, he could feel the blood sliding down, staining his skin and even though his rational part knew that there was no blood, that he was ok, that didn't keep him from dropping to the floor and sobbing like he was a 5-year-old boy. 

That's how his manager found him. Curled up in a ball in that dirty alley, sobbing and holding onto his side as if his life depended on it. Carefully, his manager placed a hand on his shoulder and when the boy looked up, a feeling of relief washed over him. He let himself be carried to the van by his manager, too exhausted to walk by himself. 

There in the van, with music coming from the speakers, he let himself slide into his mind and the more he thought about those lonely, painful months, the more he convinced himself that he had to change if he didn't want the others to get so annoyed by him, that they kick him out of the group. 

With that thought in mind, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add a TO BE CONTINUED CHANCHANCHANCHAAAAAN at the end but I thought...It would lose seriousness so I left it there hehe
> 
> I hope you liked it :3
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings


	14. Memories pt2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aham, so the 2nd part is finally here. You have no idea how hard it was to write this, I don't even know why but it took me like freaking 4 days to finish this :( I really tried to do it fast so that I could start writing the other requests but for some reason, I couldn't :(
> 
> N E WAYS
> 
> Enjoy :)

"Yeah, he's ok now, I think....mmhm...he fell asleep on the way here..." 

Haechan heard his manager say. Who was he talking to anyways? Haechan just hoped it wasn't any of his members, he would just burden them and, they would think he is even more annoying than what he already was. 

Haechan tried to open his eyes, failing miserably. His lids weighted heavy and his mind was sluggish, yeah, that's what a flashback and panic attack do to you. Hyuk decided to keep his eyes closed until he didn't feel like his lids were 200kg. His fingers twitched, trying to feel where he was. 

He was in...in his room? In the NCT dorm? Dream's dorm? He was...panicking again. He could feel his heart racing, his breathing hitching, he could feel his hands shaking but, still, he couldn't open his eyes and, that scared him even more. 

"I think he's waking up, wait for a second" Hyuk heard his manager say and suddenly, a pair of big hands were surrounding him, making his brain rush with wrong ideas, his heart had decided to move to his ears and with every beat, he felt as if his head was about to explode. His hands shook with fear and the next thing that came out of his mouth was a desperate scream, his eyes shot open and the first thing he saw was his manager's worried face. 

Tears welled up in his eyes and soon, they fell prey to gravity and started rolling down his cheeks while ugly sobs wracked his body. He felt himself being pulled upwards and soon, he was surrounded by warmness, the arms holding him were strong and soft at the same time, they were safe and, Haechan felt as if nothing and no one could hurt him if he was there and so he let himself be embraced by those strong arms, he let his tears be pulled down by a force greater than him, he let his screams of pain be heard because at that moment he was just in so, so much pain. 

His manager sat there, with the crying boy against his chest and his arms wrapped around his small frame. His hand moved up and down trying to ease some of the boy's pain because even if he wasn't the closest with Haechan, he could still feel the heavy weight on the boy's heart, he could still feel the overwhelming pain eating his soul and he wanted, oh so badly, to ease that pain. 

Little by little, the sobs became small hiccups, the tears became only traces of what they had once been and he no longer felt like he was choking. 

"Ok boy, breathe yes? Breathe" the manager said, a calming voice filling Haechan's ears. He inhaled only getting some air before choking on it and coughing, panic started to fill his body once again. His manager was quick to reassure the boy that he was ok and with that, Hyuk's panic subsided. 

"Let's try again ok?" Haechan nodded and opened his mouth to get air on his lungs. This time, he felt a mouthful of air enter the needy organ and relief washed over him. Being finally able to breathe, he laid his head on his manager's shoulder as his body shook. 

Haechan felt a hand on his back, moving up and down and in circles and, while focusing on the slow movements, he fell asleep, letting himself be carried by Morpheus into his world. 

The manager placed him on his bed as he was in the living room of the 127 dorm before. He removed his shoes, placed a blanket on top of him and let the boy sleep, his body still shaking slightly. A heavy sigh escaped the manager's mouth. Haechan was usually happy and chatty and loud so seeing him like that, made his heart hurt deeply. 

He came out of Haechan and Johnny's room and headed to the living room where he had left his phone, the call was still going apparently. 

"Manager-nim?!" Taeyong's panicked voice was heard from across the speaker. "Taeyong, calm down, please. He's ok now, he fell back asleep. I will explain more once you guys get here but please don't worry too much, I'll stay close to him." Silence crept over the line until a little "ok" was heard from the other side. 

The manager sat slowly on the couch, visibly exhausted. When Haechan had called, he hadn't expected to find him sobbing, crouched on a dirty alley at the middle of Seoul, but, here they were and now there was nothing else to do than to discover what had caused the boy to break down like that. 

Suddenly, the door flew open, revealing a very worried Taeyong, 7 pairs of eyes were behind him, equally as worried. Taeyong walked up to where their manager was sitting, bowed, said hello and finally, sat beside him while the others took their places across the living room. 

"What happened?" a trembling voice came out of Taeyong's lips. 

"To be really honest with you guys, I don't know either" the manager said, voice low as if he was talking to a wounded creature. "He was supposed to practice with the other Dream members but he called me saying he wasn't feeling good and if I could go and pick him up. He sent me the location but I thought he would be in a cafe waiting for me or something of the sort but I found him in an alley sobbing" with this, the expressions on the boy's faces changed, it was not only worried but confused now. 

"He texted me while he was walking, he told me he was like 10 minutes away from the building. He was ok when I talked to him in the morning too," Mark said, his voice clear but with a hint of confusion and worry seeping through his tone. 

"Something must've happened on the way to the studio then," Doyoung said, receiving nods from the other members. 

"Now, all we have to do is discover WHAT happened" Mark again, more flustered this time. Again, nods were the answer, all of them too worried and overwhelmed to give proper, well-thought answers. 

"I would love to help you but, I have to return to the building. The other Dream members are still there, I told them to wait for me there," the manager said as he stood up from the couch and walked to the front door. If he was going to be honest, he had completely forgotten that the Dream members were still on the building until he had seen Mark, and so, he had to get there fast before those kids sue him or something. 

They said their goodbyes and thank yous and soon, the manager was gone. 

"I'm going to check up on him," Mark said, already walking through the hall that led to Johnny's and Haechan's room. 

When he arrived, he was welcomed by a dim light coming from the unproperly closed blinds. He was able to see Haechan's face decorated by a sour expression, his brows knitted together, lips curved downwards, hands pressed tight against his side. He was obviously in some sort of pain, whether it be mentally or physically, he was in pain so Mark sat next to him and softly caressed his cheek, careful as to not wake the sleeping boy up. He observed his features carefully, analyzing his hair, went down to his forehead and continued with his eyes, then he noticed how creepy he was and stopped, laughing slightly at himself. 

Haechan woke up minutes later to find Mark next to him. He had made Mark come from the building back to the dorms, Mark didn't have to be there, he was supposed to be with the other Dream members in the studio, having fun with them, not with someone who only burdened the rest, not with someone annoying and dumb...not with him. 

Tears welled up in his eyes as he kept staring at Mark's back. His hands were holding his phone, his eyes reading something Haechan couldn't quite decipher and, his fingers moved swiftly across the device. 

Haechan just stared as he felt a lonely tear rolling down, at this point he didn't even know why he was crying, he just wanted Mark to be gone so that he could stop being a bother to everyone. 

The lonely tear was suddenly accompanied by more as his thoughts kept crawling into his brain like some sort of parasite taking over his body.  
A small whimper escaped his lips and in a second, Mark's back was replaced by his face and chest which only made Haechan more upset. 

He knew he was a crybaby, and he knew that he was bothersome and annoying but, he just wanted the memories to stop flooding his mind, he wanted the voices that told him how horrible he was, to stop screaming at him and if he cried, maybe, just maybe, the sound of his sobs would be louder than the screams. He also cried because he knew that the voices were right, because he knew that Mark wasn't supposed to be there and he simply wanted to stop feeling like he was making Mark lose his time. 

\------------------------------------------  
Mark had felt Haechan move but just assumed he was moving while asleep, so he didn't pay it much attention. That was until he heard a small sound coming from behind, a whimper to be more precise. He turned around to find Haechan with tear-filled eyes and a pained expression adorning his face. He saw Haechan's eyes travel from his chest to his eyes until he was staring directly at him. Mark saw how a waterfall of tears rolled down the youngest's cheeks, soaking the pillow beneath him. 

Carefully, Mark approached the upset boy and carefully caresses his cheeks, cleaning his tears. He pulled him close and whispered.

"You're ok. I'm here, I'm with you, you're ok" Haechan heard the sweet words, felt them reach his ears and felt his heart crushing because he didn't want Mark to be there, he didn't want to be a bother to his friend and so, he cried harder. "ssshhh, sshhhh it's ok. I'm here because I love you Donghyuk, because you're my friend" Mark said as if he was reading the youngest's mind. 

Had he thought out loud or...what the hell?!

Apparently, Haechan's thoughts were evident to the oldest as he laughed and said, "Chill, I just guessed you were thinking that you were a burden or something, I could've been completely wrong but apparently, I was right, wasn't I?"

Haechan nodded slightly, tears soaking the oldest's white t-shirt. "Hyung," Haechan said, startling Mark by the sudden honorific, "I'm scared," he said, croaky voice reaching the oldest's ears, breaking his heart in little pieces. Hyuk's hand reached for the other's t-shirt and entangled his fingers on it as if it were to give him some sort of support. His head still rested on Mark's shoulder in a hug position. 

"What happened today Hyukie?" he asked quietly. 

"You know how I was in a different company before?" Hyuk said, sighing at the end of the phrase. 

A nod was all the answer he received. 

Haechan continued with the story, taking breaks here and there to catch his breath. He had never told anyone, he had never said how hurt he was out loud and now that he was saying it, he didn't know if he felt relief or if he was going to pass out. 

Mark listened carefully. His eyes filled with tears with every word Haechan spoke. He could feel the pain in his voice, sense the fear on his breath, the shaking of his hands and it pained him. 

Haechan finished. His body was shaking, he had to catch his breath multiple times before pulling away from the oldest before being pulled into his embrace again. "Donghyuk, we, every single member, all the 22 members, love you very, very much. We love every single part of you. Your laugh, your eyes, your voice, everything and you are everything to us. Without you, I...I don't know what I would do" he said, voice quavering. 

Haechan was surprised, to say the least. Did they really love him that much? 

"Really?" Hyuk said. 

"Really," Mark said, so sure of himself he managed to convince Haechan. 

Haechan laughed slightly, suddenly a heavy weight being lifted from his shoulders.

Mark accompanied Hyuk to tell the others what had happened that day, what had happened all those years ago and even though tears were spilt, reassurances were also told and Hyuk felt warm and protected and most importantly...loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. I know it wasn't really the best. I feel like it ended up being like a filler chapter from Naruto xdxd
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings


	15. Mind and Head (Hongjoong migraine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: tinyjungmo
> 
> maybe ateez is doing a vlive or have the day off and hongjoong as a headache, migraine, something, and wooyoung is being really loud so he keeps telling him to be quiet but he won’t cause he didn’t know, but when hongjoong starts acting really in pain he quiets down and starts caring for him as much as he can.
> 
> Thank you for recommending this :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANIDBUFWJIWJFH I'M LATE 
> 
> But it's only a day hehehe 
> 
> I tried doing this one, for this specific human being (tinyjungmo) especially good but I don't know if I achieved that goal. I hope you still like it :)

"Hi guyyyys!!!" Wooyoung shouted as soon as he opened the Vlive. San laughed at the overexcitement of the other boy and accompanied him on his greetings. Hongjoong on the other side was quite, admiring the two other boys with a slight smile on his face. 

He could feel a headache forming, just behind his eyes but, it wasn't that big of a deal, really, just a slight headache. He rested his arm against the wooden table where they were filming the Vlive and rested his head on his hand, making the pain subside slightly. 

Wooyoung kept talking, the excitement increasing by the second, the other members laughed when he said something funny and smiled whenever he spoke, they were all used to the boy's energy at that point. 

For Hongjoong, although he usually enjoyed the overflowing energy San and Wooyoung had, today he was just wondering how on Earth was it that the two could keep increasing their volume. He had thought his headache would go away but, to his surprise, the intensity of the pain just kept increasing, and Wooyoung being particularly loud that day wasn't helping one bit. 

He tried placing his head in a different position, he tried drinking some water, changing the whole position in which he was sitting, only to find himself completely disappointed at the lack of relief the different techniques he had tried gave him. 

As one last attempt of relieving his pain, he placed both hands at both sides of his head and pressed slightly, he placed himself so it wasn't too noticeable that he was in that position because he was in pain and finally, he felt the pounding pain, start to subside. That was until Wooyoung screamed and the other members laughed as loud as they could, he had stopped paying attention to what they were saying so he didn't know what all the commotion was about but what he did know was that his brain had started fighting to squeeze out of his skull.

He decided enough was enough. He loved Wooyoung and all but, he loved his own life more, and he would appreciate if his brain would stay in its place instead torturing him. 

He tugged at the younger's long red shirt. Wooyoung turned to look at the leader, not noticing the pain in the boy's face.

"Can you be a bit quieter, please?" Hongjoong said, mustering up a small smile so that the younger wouldn't notice just in how much pain he was really in. Wooyoung looked at him, confusion written all over his face. His hyung usually didn't mind them being loud and he would even join them sometimes. He looked at the oldest with confusion before turning his head back to the others, maybe if Hongjoong said he was being too loud he was right- he thought. He tried to be quieter and, for the few minutes it lasted, Hongjoong was in heaven, the pain slowly, but surely subsiding and little by little, he started being more active in the conversation.

Wooyoung though could only keep the "I'm a quiet human being" facade for a few minutes before his excitement and energy got the best of him and his voice got louder again. 

Hongjoon had just started to relax when a loud, high pitched sound boomed across the room and struck against Hongjoon's ears, making his brain erupt with pain, the felt as if it had boomed against the walls of his skull and shaken his brain. He took both hands and carried them towards his ears to cover the horrible sound, his eyes filled with tears as the pain became stronger, and suddenly he saw black. 

\----------------------------------------------------  
San had said something funny, something so, so funny that Wootoung couldn't keep being quiet anymore, even if Hongjoong had asked him to so he just laughed and continued with the joke. All the members laughed and then he felt Hongjoong's arms moving. He turned to see his hyung, curious as to why there was suddenly movement beside him. 

He turned his head only to find a pained expression adorning the older boy, tears rolling down his cheeks and his hands pressing hard against his head. 

Fear rushed through Wooyoung's veins and he looked up to see that no one else had noticed the pained state of their leader. In the panic of the moment, he just stood up, ran to get the phone at the other side of the table and quickly turned off the live before hearing a loud bang. 

7 heads turned around to see Hongjoong's head on the table, his body unmoving. They seemed to be in a trance, watching the unmoving body of their leader trying to figure out what to do before Seonghwa moved rapidly toward the unconscious boy and gently lifted his head. 

Seonghwa checked for injuries before carrying the boy and instructing the rest of the members to bring medicine, wet towels, open Hongjoong's bed  
covers and help him change the boy's clothing. Wooyoung was instructed to bring water but his thoughts kept him from moving. 

He felt guilty. The feeling crept into his body like raindrops on the window of his room, fast yet slow, unnoticeable, until they were until the feeling of guilt was too much. Like a parasite under his skin, terrible thoughts danced in his brain but, even in his state, he realized that he had to get water for the leader, do what Seonghwa had told him to do and so he moved. 

He walked to the kitchen, picked a glass and filled with water, everything was done in a trance, he wouldn't have realized that the glass had been filled if it wasn't for the trickle of water that started running down his fingers. 

He walked towards Hongjoong's room and found the boy awake, Seoghwa by his side caressing the boy's cheeks with the wet towels brought by Yunho. He stood on the door, afraid to move, afraid that Hongjoon would be mad at him, afraid that his hyung wouldn't love him anymore because he had been selfish and dumb, wasn't even able to realize that the person sitting right next to him was in pain. 

Seonghwa turned around to look at him and stretched his arm so that Wooyoung could give him the water. He approached, slowly, careful as to not make his presence too strong inside the room and gave the water-filled glass to Seonghwa. He looked to the side, guilt gnawing at him as he approached the bed. 

When he felt the oldest take the glass, he left as fast as he could, his feet moving faster than his brain. He reached his room, he closed the door, making sure not to make any sound. He walked towards his bed and sat there, completely lost. He was supposed to be taking care of Hongjoong, it had been his fault after all but, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to look at him. He wanted to go there and help Hongjoon in every way possible and tell him that he was sorry but he just got so lost inside his brain, inside his thoughts, inside the little voice telling him how selfish he was, how stupid, how dumb and how, oh how bad of a friend he was and while being lost inside his own little, yet destructive world, he didn't notice someone coming inside the room.

\-----------------------------------------  
Hongjoong woke up dizzy, but his headache was miraculously gone. There was, still a slight, dull pain but nothing some medicine couldn't fix. It took him some time to notice where he was, the darkness of the room making it hard for him to recognize the posters on the walls at first. When he realized that the space surrounding him was his room, confusion filled his brain. He was almost entirely sure he had been in the dining room just seconds ago. 

While lost in his thoughts, he saw something from the corner of his eye, he turned his head only to reveal Seonghwa's face, a small smile decorating his face. 

"How're you feeling?" he asked, a sweet tone in his voice. 

"Hi," Hongjoong said, his train of thoughts still going a bit too slow for him to answer right away. "I'm...good? I think. My head doesn't hurt as it did before, I'm just kinda dizzy" his voice croaky like it hadn't been used in ages when in reality, only some minutes had passed. 

Seonghwa hummed. He took out some wet towels and started to caress his face, tears formed in his eyes while he did it. 

"Seonghwa? What's wrong?" Hongjoong asked, worry seeping through his voice. "You scared me, that's all. I'm just glad you're awake now" he said, letting his tears fall freely down his cheeks, a small smile appearing on his mouth. He continued with his task of cleaning the boy's face with the towels when he said:

"Why didn't you tell us that you were in pain Hongjoong? We would've stopped the Vlive right away, there was no need for it to get this bad" more of a pained and exasperated tone came out of the oldest's mouth this time. He was looking at Hongjoong's eyes directly, accusingly yet sweet. 

"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly feeling smaller. 

"Just don't to that ever again, ok?" 

Hongjoong nodded and laughed slightly, he didn't even know why he was laughing but soon, Seonghwa followed. 

The other members heard the laughter coming from the room and approached, some had the thing they had been asked for in their hands and quickly gave them to Seonghwa before checking up on their leader. They asked if he was ok, hugged him and then left, per Seonghwa's request.

"Ok, ok, you gotta take some medicines, let's just wait a bit for Wooyoung to bring water for you to take the pills," Seonghwa said, looking at the door to see if the younger boy appeared with the glass of water that he had asked some minutes ago. 

While Seonghwa continued with his ministrations to the leader, Hongjoong thought of Wooyoung. He hadn't thought about it before but now that Seonghwa mentioned the boy, Wooyoung hadn't come to see him when the others did, he hadn't seen the boy once since he woke up, and he had been awake for some 15 minutes already. Knowing the younger, and if Hongjoong were to guess, he would be beating himself up over being loud before, over not noticing that he was in pain and over another stupid amount of things that weren't really his fault. 

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts and when he looked at the door, he saw Wooyoung standing there, a lost expression adorning his features. 

Seonghwa stretched his arms while he flashed his characteristic smile to the boy for him to give him the glass of water that his shaking hands held. Wooyoung approached the two of them, his steps cautious as if he was approaching a wild beast ready to attack. Hongjoong confirmed his suspicions when the boy didn't even look at him before basically running out of the room. 

Seonghwa found it strange but didn't think much of it, Hongjoong on the other side, felt a pang on his heart, he hated seeing the members sad or upset, especially when it was because of their own minds and thoughts because that just meant that their love was sometimes not enough, and he hated not being enough for his members. 

He took the medicine Seonghwa gave him. After some minutes, he sat up, the dizziness had disappeared and his headache was long gone. The only thing remaining was a feeling of drowsiness and fatigue which made him want to stay in bed forever and just close his eyes to be swallowed by dreamland for some hours, but, he couldn't do that, at least not yet, he had to look for Wooyoung first.

He stood up slowly receiving concerned looks form Seonghwa and Jongho who had joined them not too long ago. He walked through the hall and stopped right in front of the white door that led to Wooyoung's room.

He opened the door slowly and was hit by the image of Wooyoung sitting on the edge of his bed, his knuckles white from grabbing the covers too strong, tears running down his cheeks but, no sound came from his mouth, his eyes looked empty and lost as if he had gone into a different world and not come back. Hongjoong noticed that his presence hadn't been perceived by the other. 

He sat on the floor, right in front of Wooyoung to see the entirety of his expression, a terrified look welcomed him. He had no more time to analyze the boy's features because the, up until then, unmoving body, moved. Hongjoong heard a gasp and, suddenly, Wooyoung was crawling as far from the oldest as he could. 

"Hey hey, baby, calm down, calm down," Hongjoong spoke quietly, careful as to not scare the already scared boy more. Wooyoung looked at him for a few seconds before launching himself towards the oldest, entangling his arms around his neck while ugly sobs escaped his mouth. 

"I'm sorry hyung," he said between sobs. "I'm sorry I'm so loud and selfish and, I understand if you are mad at me-" 

"Ssshhh baby, sssshhh, it's ok. You don't have to be sorry, it wasn't your fault" the leader said while rubbing circles on the boy's back.

"Hyung, I didn't mean to hurt you," Wooyoung said, tears still rolled down his cheeks.

"I know, I know. Now, don't cry yes? I am the one you're supposed to be taking care of not the other way around" he said, laughing at the end when he heard the small whimper that escaped the younger's mouth. 

Wooyoung unentangled himself from the leader, looked at him in the eyes and said:

"You're really not mad?" the tiniest, smallest of voices Hongjoong had ever heard from the boy made its way out of his lips. 

Hongjoong nodded, smiled plastered on his face. 

They lied down on Wooyoung's bed and, while Hongjoong caressed the other's head, playing with his brown hair strands, they fell asleep, exhaustion catching up with them. Wooyoung noticed that maybe, just maybe, his brain was wrong sometimes, and maybe, just maybe, his hyung loved him very much and so, he closed his eyes, fingers entangled in his hyung's shirt and smile plastered on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOoooooooooo, what did you think? I know it a bit sdhvbaobv in some parts (yes, sdhvbaobv) but I hope you enjoyed reading it. 
> 
> Lil announcement: I have a new story huhuhu it's a Lucas/Xuxi angst. It includes ED and depression sooo yeah, if you want you can check it out :)
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings


	16. Umbrella (Jaemin sickfic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: nanajaemin
> 
> hellooo! can I request for a nct dream jaemin sickfic? I don’t really have a storyline but maybe it can be about jaemin being really sick but the members didn’t realise since they were all used to being taken care of by jaemin. Then jaemin felt hurt cause the members didn’t realise until he faints. Afterwards, the members felt guilty and regretful. I’m alright if u have any other storyline u wanna use :)  
> thank you in advance!! I see you have lots of request so fighting!!❤️❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIII I said I would upload this before Thursday and I didn't hehe, but it's still Thursday does it count?
> 
> Also, sorry for taking so long to update. I took a little break for Christmas and new year but I'm back and as we've been doing up to here, there will be weekly updates, I will try to do 2 updates per week but I can't promise anything. 
> 
> N E WAYS
> 
> Thank you for recommending this. I haven't been in the best place mentally but I saw your comment and it really gave me the strength to keep writing so thank you for that. I hope this is how you imagined and that you like it.

Jaemin woke up feeling drowsy, his thoughts muddled up and his head pounding. He felt his stomach churning, and although he wanted to believe, with all his might, that it was just hunger, he knew, deep down, that it was more than that.

He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Jisung's sleeping face in front of him. That's when he noticed how early he had woken up, he turned his head to see the clock and a big, green 3 greeted him. The next thought that crossed his mind a series of questions as to what the hell was he doing awake that early in the morning, he wasn't supposed to be up at those unholy hours.

A groan left his mouth as his stomach flipped and a pang of anger filled his body because not only did he want to go back to sleep but also because he knew he wouldn't be able to fulfil his desire, the constant pain in his head and stomach being the culprits.

He lied there, his eyes fixated on the ceiling as if it had the answers to the most intriguing questions in the world. He could feel himself being pulled back to dreamland when suddenly his stomach decided to attack him. A burning pain filled his stomach and he felt as if his insides were rebelling against him, trying to push themselves out of his body.

He sat up trying to ease the pain only to discover it did nothing but make it increase, he tried breathing in and out as his hands grabbed his shirt as if it was some sort of lifeline. Every attempt to ease the pain went unnoticed by his body and, as hot tears rolled down his cheeks, he felt the contents that had been causing so much trouble for the past 5 minutes going up his throat.

He stood up as fast as he could and ran to the bathroom. He locked the door and kneeled in front of the toilet just as nausea overwhelmed him and cramps crushed his body. He coughed two, three times before acid liquid came rushing down his throat. 

Vomit splashed in the filthy toilet water, and Jaemin felt repugnance washing over him. Wave after wave of the disgusting liquid came rushing down his throat, making the cramps and sharp pain in the boy's stomach and head to only increase. 

After what seemed like hours but in reality, had only been some minutes, Jaemin got a break from his rebelling stomach. He hung his head low, resting his forehead on the rim of the toilet, he knew that was probably not the most hygienic thing to do but, honestly, he couldn't care less whether what he was doing was hygienic or not. 

A wet burp escaped his lips and, suddenly, he was throwing up again. Between the pain, vomit and tears, he just hoped that one of the members would hear him and come save him from his misery, but as time went by, he noticed that his hopes of someone saving him from the dirty toilet and increasing pain would stay just like that, hopes. 

When he felt like his insides had gotten rid of everything he had eaten the past month or so, he stood up, legs shaky and knees bruised. His knuckles were white from holding onto the toilet's rim too harshly, his cheeks were red, red as if someone had slapped him when in reality, the only thing that had attacked him was his own body. He let out a shaky breath as his head spun, he placed his hand on the sink to keep himself up and the other hand on his stomach in a futile attempt to make the pain stop. He looked up to see his reflection waving back at him, eyes sunken, dark circles under the beautiful orbs. His examined his features, a pained expression decorating them, and he sighed and the scene in front of him. 

He opened the faucet and let the water run down the white sink, with the hand that had been supporting him, he took water and rinsed his mouth. The thought of brushing his teeth was appealing, but the thought of going back to his warm bed was even more so. 

He turned off the lights, flushed down the toilet, did some cleaning of the area affected by the disaster and left the small room. He walked slowly, supporting himself on the walls of the apartment and being careful not to fall. 

He reached his bed with a loud thump and found the maknae there, just how he had been when he left, sleeping peacefully, no distress was shown in his face, and Jaemin felt oh so jealous seeing how the youngest could sleep like that while he drowned in his misery. 

He lied there once again, he looked at the clock and noticed that the once 3 that greeted him had become a 4 with a 30 by its side. He grabbed his stomach miserably as a small whine escaped his lips and like that, with a pained expression on his face, his hands grabbing his middle and pain rushing through his body, he fell asleep. 

The next time he opened his eyes, the clock marked 9:30. Sunlight splashed in the room, bouncing against the walls and, although he usually enjoyed the sight, in that exact moment he couldn't think about the beauty of the room or the light seeping through the curtains when his head felt like exploding because of it and his insides were still performing somersaults as if a whole circus had decided to move inside him. 

He noticed, in his drowsy state, that Jisung was no longer there and by the sounds of it, Haechan and Mark were in the dorm as well. Excellent, just what Jaemin needed after the night he had had. 

Not like he didn't enjoy having the other boys there but, after going through hell and back, or rather, visiting hell and crawling back, all he wanted to do was lie in bed, a bucket by his side and to be taken care of by the members 

Despite his whole body telling him not to, he stood up from his bed, swaying slightly on his feet. His head spun, his stomach cramped, and a small whimper escaped his lips, but even like that, he forced himself to walk out of the room, body entangled in his covers and hands shaking. 

He was welcomed by the sight of the other six boys sitting on the couch playing something on the TV, TV that Jaemin couldn't see from his position. A dizzy spell caught him by surprise and his hand flew to the wall beside him causing a loud bang, and, although it ended up being muffled by whatever game the other boys were playing Jeno heard it and turned to look at the sick boy who was now struggling to keep himself up. 

Jeno analyzed the boy for a second before concentrating again on the task at hand, winning the game against Haechan. Jaemin noticed the quick look he received from his best friend, he saw how his head turned and then, even though Jaemin expected him to stand up from his place on the couch, he didn't, even though he wanted Jeno to approach him and ask him if he was ok, if he needed help, ask why his skin was so pale, he didn't and in that instant, his heart hurt more than his head. 

Holding back tears, from the physical and emotional pain he felt, he kept walking. He reached the long couch they were all sitting in and, he too sat down, next to Jeno because he just needed some comfort from the one he knew would give him a warm hug even if he didn't ask for it. 

The reaction he received was nothing like the one he had expected though. Jeno didn't put his arm on his shoulders, nor did he smile with that bright smile of his, nothing. Jeno kept looking at the game he had in front of him, he looked at Haechan and Mark but, not even a glance was directed at Jaemin. 

The sick boy resolved that his only option to get some comfort was to ask for it, but in a subtle, quiet way that he knew only Jeno and him would understand. He thought hard for some minutes before deciding on what to do. The easiest option it was.

Jaemin rested his head on the other boy's shoulder expecting him to play with his hair, or at least for Jeno to look at him, to notice just in how much pain he was but what he received was nothing like that. With a quick and small movement, some shoulder shaking and a helping hand, Jeno shoved the sick boy's head away from his shoulder. Jaemin was speechless, hurt, shocked and in that moment of pain, both physical and emotional, he just grabbed his phone from the table and stood up. His legs moved faster than his brain and, in a matter of seconds, he was in his and Jisung's room again, cuddled up in the covers of his bed while tears rolled down his cheeks. 

He knew he shouldn't have been so affected by such little actions as his friend not reciprocating his affection or not directing a glance at him, or not standing up from the couch to check on him but he was just in so much pain, so, so much pain. Jaemin just wanted someone by his side to tell him that he would be ok, he just wanted someone to be there for him, just like he was always there for them when in similar situations. 

He just let tears spill from his eyes and small groans caused by the stomach cramps to escape his mouth. Suddenly, without a warning, something else wanted to escape his mouth, that something being whatever was left in his stomach. He desperately tried to stand up, to run to the bathroom but was caught between the pain and the covers and all the contents that his body so desperately wanted to get rid off stained the wooden floor. The acid liquid came out from his nose and before he knew it, he was sobbing, gasping for air to enter his lungs and begging for someone to come save him. 

Jeno was the first one to hear the cries, at first, he wasn't sure if they were indeed sobs what he was hearing but after a few seconds, he got concerned. He looked up, examining the room, he saw Renjun, Haechan, Mark, Jisung, Chenle, himself and...6 there were only 6 people in the living room. 

...Jaemin, they were missing Jaemin. 

"Haechan! Turn it off," he said, pointing at the game that was playing on the TV. Without the loud noise from the TV, they could all hear the pained sobs and cries for help coming from inside one of the rooms. 

Jeno stood up and rushed to where the sound was coming from. He reached Jaemin and Jisung's room and pushed the door open. A putrid smell welcomed him, making him give a small step back before realizing where the smell was coming from. 

Jaemin was crouched next to his bed, his head hanging low, ugly sobs coming out of his mouth and in front of him, a puddle of vomit that made him even more nauseous than what he already was. 

Jeno moved fast, his muscles moving before he could even think about it. He kneeled next to the crying boy and rubbed his back. 

Jaemin felt the hand on his back and, for the first time that whole day, he felt happy, happy because someone, whoever it was, was finally next to him. 

"Sshhh, sshh you're ok," Jeno whispered, trying to soothe the distressed boy. "Jeno?" Jaemin croaked out in between sobs and waves of sick coming out of his mouth. 

Jeno hummed in response, and Jaemin felt a wave of relief washing over him, unfortunately, his happiness was short-lived as soon he was expelling the contents inside his stomach once again. A pained groan left the boy's mouth and he heard Jeno say something to someone that was not him and suddenly, there was a bucket under his chin and Renjun was cleaning the mess that was the floor. 

Jaemin would've thanked them if it wasn't for the fact that he was trying to breathe and you know, not die. 

Jeno kept rubbing his back, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, reminding him how to breathe when he felt like his lungs were burning, telling him he would be ok when cramps overwhelmed him and soon enough, the torture was over. Jaemin no longer felt like was dying although he did feel like he had seen death, seen the light as many would say, and for the first time in the past 12 hours or so, he felt at peace knowing that his members were there to support him and even clean dirty floors for him. 

Jeno carried him to the bathroom, made him shower and brush his teeth, he changed his clothes, gave him medicine and, in a matter of minutes, he was buried deep inside Jeno's bed. Jeno lied beside him and played with his hair, making the dull pain he still had to move to the back of his mind. 

"I'm sorry," Jeno said, regret evident in his tone. 

Jaemin smiled, he placed his hand on Jeno's head and ruffled his hair, laughing slightly when he saw the other boy's face.

"It's ok, you're forgiven," he said, voice croaky and weak but a smile was still plastered on his face. Soon, the other boys got to the room as well, they all climbed Jeno's bed and snuggled close to Jaemin, it would be quiet the mess if Jaemin actually had a virus and they were all there cuddled up but, oh well, what could be done now, Jaemin just hoped he didn't have to take care of six sick boys tomorrow. 

As predicted, the next morning they woke up to Mark retching in front of the toilet which was soon followed by Chenle throwing up in the bathtub and Jisung running to the sink, both Renjun and Haechan were also sick but being the "strong boys" they were, they weren't half as vocal of their pain as the other three. 

Miraculously, Jeno wasn't sick nor did he present any sort of discomfort or pain anywhere, and Jaemin suspected that he was either a robot disguised as a human or that he would get it later and 10 times worse, if that was even possible. 

On the bright side, Jaemin was already fully recovered, a bit tired yes but that was expected after not being able to sleep properly and then almost dying. This fact also gave both, Jeno and Jaemin hope that the other 5 boys would be ok after 12 hours of torture, yes, they could endure it, it was nothing big...or at least that's what they convinced themselves of. 

Overall though, Jaemin was happy, even if he had to clean dirty buckets or run to the bathroom with Jisung, even if he had to console a crying Chenle every 5 seconds or rub Haechan's back while he threw up, he was happy. Not happy because his members were sick, he was not an asshole, he was happy that he could take care of them, that he knew that they had each other's backs and that none of them would change, even if they moved out, even if they got angry or sad, they would always, always, have someone behind them, protecting them like an umbrella from the rain, even in the biggest of storms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU LIKE IT???
> 
> I hope you did, I tried a SLIGHTLY different writing style idk if it's noticeable hehe
> 
> Next week's request is OsamuSa's request, it's a Vernon angst fic if I'm not wrong so look forward to it :)
> 
> That's all I have to say :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and 
> 
> I LUV YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS


	17. Changes (Vernon angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: OsamuSa...although I think you changed your username
> 
> Hey can u please do a seventeen angst fic.  
> I guess something like Vernon/ Hansol being the 2nd maknae never really gets to behave that way or something like members forget Vernon or get angry at him because of Dino.not realising that even he is kinda a maknae and something like that. :)  
> I hope you can write in!!
> 
> And can also write a seventeen sick fic again with Vernon as main character.  
> Thank you so much for reading and I'd be grateful if you could write about it. ♡♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for recommending this!!
> 
> I tried to add both requests in one although I don't think I achieved it lol 
> 
> To make up for the slow update I made this a LITTLE bit longer (2538 words :3)
> 
> Also, I need to give credit to Vante_20 for helping me with the building of this request 💜
> 
> Enjoy!

"Hyung!! It hurts don't you see?! It hurts so much!" he said sobbing, knees on the floor and heart on his hands, the pain becoming more unbearable by the second, and before he knew it, he...  
\-----------------------  
Pain. That was the first thing Hansol registered when he opened his eyes that morning. Burning, throbbing pain just behind his eyes, making him want to go back to sleep. 

He knew he couldn't close his eyes as he heard the different alarms ringing across the dorm, all signalling the beginning of a long day. He rubbed the sleep out of his hurting eyes and sat on his bed noticing the quick steps approaching his room, he assumed it was Jun, the older boy being the one that would usually wake him up. 

Just as he predicted, Jun lightly knocked on the door and opened it, surprised to see Vernon already up and sitting on his bed. Jun flashed a smile at the younger boy, whispered a "Good Morning," and left, the paleness in Hansol's face going unnoticed to the older. 

Once the door was closed, Vernon let his facade slip. He carried his hands towards his face, letting a small grunt escape his lips. He couldn't take a break that day, their schedules too packed with practice and interviews for them to be even able to breathe plus, his hyungs didn't have to worry with such trivial things as his health, especially when it was only a slight headache. 

He stood up slowly, careful as to not make his headache worse and carried himself to the bathroom, a hot shower would fix everything, he thought. 

Water rolled down his back, cleaning his every muscle, his well-formed abs and biceps covered by the steam of the shower. Droplets danced in the shower's white wall just like they walked in his back, and Hansol's attention moved from the process of showering to the dancing droplets. He didn't exactly know how long he had been in the shower, but apparently, long enough for Seokmin to bang the door telling him to, in his words, "Hurry up!! Leave some water to the fish!!!" 

Vernon quickly turned off the water, dried his body and wrapped a towel around his waist. The pounding headache that attacked him before now a dull pain behind his eyes.

While drying his hair, he reached towards the medicine cabinet, pulling out some aspirin before swallowing it dry, probably not the best idea ever, because soon, the room was flooded with the sounds of his lungs trying to escape from inside him, also known as coughing. 

He opened the door of the bathroom and walked out, coughing fit still going. He found Dino staring at him before patting his back and screaming: 

"Hyungs!!! Hansol-hyung is dying"

"Remember you have to carry the body if he dies," they heard Jun say from the kitchen. Chan laughed slightly just as Hansol stopped coughing and turned to look at the direction where Jun's voice had come from with an offended expression, at this, the youngest laughed even louder making Hansol's head hurt more, the coughing fit doing little to help the pain.

"You okay?" Chan asked with such an innocent voice, Hansol actually thought that he was talking to the little kid that had first joined the company for a second. He nodded in response and flashed a small smile to the boy before rushing to his room, remembering he was still in nothing but a towel. 

He reached the room, got dressed, fell to the floor, grabbed his head, and cried, in that order. 

He thought the warm shower would alleviate the now stabbing pain in his head...he was obviously wrong. The fact that he almost coughed a lung out could also be the reason why his brain had decided to follow the other organ and was now trying to break free from his skull, or at least that's how he felt it. Small tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to calm down, knowing that crying would do nothing but make it worse. 

He contemplated, for a second and only a second, calling Jun, or Seokmin, or even picking the phone and calling Jeonghan, but decided against it, his brain sabotaging him into that decision. He breathed in, and out, in and out, desperate for the pain to disappear. 

He sat there, in that carpeted floor for a few more seconds, breathing in and out, cleaning his tears and trying to think about anything but the crushing pain he was experiencing before deciding to stand up and go to the kitchen. 

His legs were moving faster than his clouded brain, and so, he soon got to the kitchen. The others were already there, each eating the breakfast Jun had prepared. He was welcomed with smiles from the two oldest and a playful nudge from Chan, he reciprocated the smile and stuck his tongue out at Chan who in return did the same, letting a small laugh at the end. 

"You sure took a long time to get ready today Hansolie," Seokmin said in a honey tone, and, even though the sweetness of the comment was evident, Hansol still felt as if he was being reprimanded. Unconsciously, his figure shrank a little, making him look smaller. 

"Sorry, hyung," he said, looking down at his plate. Chan noticed the weird behaviour from his youngest hyung, he was stranged by it, it was not common for the boy to shrink like that whenever someone commented on something he did, nor was it common for the boy's skin to be so pale and his plate to be untouched, everything was weird with Vernon that day, Chan thought. 

He didn't say anything though, waiting for the boy himself to tell their hyungs something, he would just keep an eye on him for the rest of the day, he thought. Eventually, someone would notice anyway. 

\------------------------ 

Vernon stared at the plate in front of him and soon concluded, he was not hungry, his head too painfully dizzy...and painful as well. Jun noticed this and even though he tried, really tried to sound as sweet as possible, the disappointment at the younger not eating what he had made was still evident in his tone when he asked: "You're not going to eat?" 

The question had sounded harsh for everyone in the table, even to Jun himself whom immediately regretted not controlling his emotions enough. 

Vernon was surprised, to say the least, by the tone the older had used. Jun was not one to get mad easily, and actually, now that he thought about it, he had never seen the older truly angry, so his surprise was fairly justified. 

Hansol dropped his chopsticks on the plate and looked down, and he knew, very well knew that it was wrong for him to get so upset by such a simple question but, his pain clouded mind could only focus on the tone in which his hyung had spoken, not the "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that," that came after or the smile directed at him, he just knew he had annoyed his hyungs. 

He didn't know where all this sensibility came from, it could be because of the exhaustion that crept in his muscles, it could be the piercing pain that resided in his head, could be the lack of sleep, could be...it could simply be because he was exaggerating and being whiny. 

If he thought about it, wasn't he allowed being whiny from time to time? He was, at the end of the day, the second maknae of the group, and if Chan was feeling sad for no reason, everyone would be in an instant with him, everyone would be worried and trying to make him happy. If Chan ever reacted the way he had reacted while having breakfast to the simplest of questions, the whole group would know, the whole group would be soon next to Chan, so why? Why was he different? Did they not love him like they loved the youngest member? 

There, caught in his thoughts, he didn't notice his legs moving towards the sink. He left the untouched plate in the counter and left the kitchen, muttering a small "thank you," to the others. 

The others were...surprised, to say the least. Vernon never acted that way, he was always so mature, nothing could break Vernon, but there he was, sitting in his bed, hands pressed against his face and fat tears rolling down his cheeks. His hands muffled the quiet sobs that escaped his lips but, Chan heard them, and even though he wanted with all his might to open that door and hug Hansol, he didn't, thinking the older would come to them eventually. 

Seokmin told Seungcheol about what happened when the leader texted them. What he didn't know was that Seungcheol hadn't taken the incident as a matter of emotional pain, and maybe even physical pain but rather, as a matter of pure brattiness. 

15 minutes later, when Jeonghan and the leader had come to their dorm, they didn't expect the scene that would unveil in once they reached the company building. 

Vernon sat in the front of the van, hoping to not have to speak with any of the members. The ride was fairly quiet, the only sound being the quiet whispers between Minghao and Jun. Hansol appreciated the silence, his head thanking them for the quietness. 

They reached the company's building in that same silence, one by one they stepped out of the car and started walking, greeting the members that had come in a different van. Hansol was the last one to step out, Seungcheol waited for him there. 

"Hansol can I speak with you for a second," the leader said, the soft voice he usually used with them being replaced with a firm tone. A shiver ran down Hansol's spine, but despite the bad feeling the leader's voice gave him, he followed him. 

"You know we are all tired, right?" Seungcheol started, exasperation evident in his voice. Vernon was about to reply when the leader shushed him and continued. 

"Seokmin told me about this morning's little show of yours. We are all tired Hansol, and Jun even made breakfast for you and not only did you not eat, but you also left the room without even a proper reason! Honestly Hansol, what is wrong with you?! You can't just act like that because you want to, it's already hard enough to deal with all of you every day, I don't need you to add into that."

Seungcheol's tone increasing by the second. Vernon's brain, or at least the rational part knew that Seungcheol was just tired, and stressed because of the upcoming album, he knew that the leader didn't really mean all he was saying but it still...hurt. 

It pained Hansol in ways he had never experienced because it was his hyung the one pronouncing those hurtful words, because he just wanted to enough for the team, because he wanted to be helpful and not a burden and simply because he wanted Seungcheol to love him the way he loved Chan. 

He lowered his head, staring at the floor as if it had suddenly become the most astonishing phenomenon he had ever seen. He looked back at Seungcheol, and he looked for something, something more than plain disappointment. He hoped, with every ounce of his being, for Seungcheol, not the leave, for the leader not to go, to stay there, with him, behind that black van. 

He hoped, with every ounce of his being, for Seungcheol to hug him and make the pain go away, for him to whisper to his ear every sweet word he could imagine and for him to be...his hyung. 

Was he asking for too much? 

To his dismay, Seungcheol left, he turned his back to Hansol and walked, straight and ahead, without looking back at those brown, teary eyes. He walked, leaving Hansol behind with no companion but his thoughts and his pain. Hansol rested his hand on the van's wall and screamed at the leader whose steps could still be heard. 

"Hyung!! It hurts, don't you see?! It hurts so much!" he sobbed, knees on the floor and heart on his hands, the pain becoming more unbearable by the second, and before he knew it, he was on the floor, his knees scraped by the rough pavement, who had no mercy with him, just like everyone else. 

Seungcheol stopped on his tracks and ran towards the sobbing boy, whose eyes screamed pain, pain that yelled the hurtful words he had said right back at him. He crouched beside that little boy, he caressed his cheeks, wiping away the tears. The leader wrapped his arms around the boy's frame and whispered the sweetest words he knew. He was wrong, oh so wrong, he shouldn't have taken his stress out on the boy, shouldn't have said hurtful words. 

Boy. That is how Seungcheol was thinking of Hansol then because he was not the strong, confident Hansol they all knew, the Hansol that would cover for them in English interviews, the Hansol that had their backs every time, this...this was the little, tiny boy that had first entered the company. This was the little, tiny boy that was too scared to speak in front of crowds, the boy who had come crying to his arms when school wasn't going well, the boy that would sneak in his bed at unholy hours of the night, and it was then and only then that Seungcheol realized his terrible mistake, he had forgotten...they had forgotten of that little, tiny boy and, they replaced him with a perfect, yet unrealistic image of Hansol. 

They had searched in him things they shouldn't have searched for. They wanted him to be perfect and strong, him to be mature and confident when in reality, deep down, he was still that little, tiny boy whose greatest desire was to be loved by his hyungs. 

The others heard the heavy sobs, they heard the harsh words and they too, cried, because they, just like their leader, realized their great mistake.

When Seungcheol approached the building, with that little boy in his arms, they all hugged their leader, or rather, the boy that rested in his arms. Hansol felt free, for the first time in a while, free. He felt loved, and he knew, now very well knew that his hyungs...plus Dino, loved him very much. 

They learnt to stop expecting perfects from Hansol and to expect nothing but for him to be himself, and only that. Vernon learnt that no, they didn't love him the way they loved Chan, and that was fine because they were two different people, and so, love would also be different, that didn't mean it was less. 

Chan was happy that the group was crying...that sounds terrible but, it was true because these tears meant that the group would change...for the better, and Chan just couldn't be happier. 

In the end, everything was solved, the tears turned into smiles and the sobs into laughs. Yes, everything was solved...except of course Hansol's pounding headache but, that is another story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you can tell, but I wrote this in 3 different days so...the writing style and continuation of the plot are kinda messy.
> 
> I hope you still liked it tho 😅💕
> 
> ALSO, DID YOU SEE??? WE'VE REACHED 10000 HITS FOR THIS...book? YEAH LET'S CALL IT BOOK. Anyways, THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS, it is quite unreal to me that 10000 people have read this 😣
> 
> ありがとうございます。  
> 谢谢  
> Gracias  
> Merci  
> Thank you 
> 
> That's it, the point is....thank you human beings 💜😣
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings 💜


	18. Family (Kun angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Vante_20
> 
> Hello I have a request. lmao I have clearly never made any requests on Ao3. Anywaysss could you make an chapter where Qian Kun from WayV is like stressed and all being the leader and the eldest and then the comeback and gets sick and crashes or fails on the set of resonance 2020 and the Way feels guilty and take care of him for once. I wouldn't mind a bit of panicking dreamies in their either. Sorry but I can just imagine Chenle and rerun crying "kun maaa" in the background hahaha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is muahahahha I didn't fail you this time :3 
> 
> I hope you like it 😣💜
> 
> Anyways, I purple you byeee 💜

From the studio to dance practice, from dance practice to the dorm, from the dorm to his room, from his room to the kitchen, from the kitchen to the studio. From the studio to the dorm, from the dorm to...a loop, an infinite loop from which Kun couldn't seem to escape. 

He was currently walking from the studio, to dance practice. He had received a text from Ten while he was at the studio telling him: "Where the hell are you ge?" Kun laughed lightly at the way Ten had expressed it. He couldn't blame the younger thought, he had left the dorm before any of them were awake without even telling them where he was going so when Yangyang and Kunhang had run to him and basically tackled him in front of the studio, he wasn't that surprised. 

They entered the studio, Yangyang still clung onto him and despite Kun's tired muscles protesting due to the added weight, he still let the younger boy adopt koala mode on him, just for the sake of cuteness. 

When they entered the studio, their manager was already there, forcing Yangyang to let go of the oldest member, a whine and a puff left his mouth before finally untangling himself from Kun. The 7 boys greeted their manager and listened to what the man had to say. 

"Ok, boys this is today's schedule. I'll send a copy of it to the group chat later but for now, just listen," the man said, a soft yet firm tone when speaking to the boys. "Right now it is..." he drifted off, looking at this clock, "8 o'clock, so you'll have dance practice until 10 o'clock, from then until 13:00 we'll have practice with the rest of the units for the choreographies of the album's songs. Then we'll move to the shooting location where the teaser video for NCT 2020 will be filmed. There you guys will get ready, you know, the usual and we'll start filming," he said. The boys nodded, taking in the whole schedule. 

Kun on the other side, just let out a heavy sigh, just by listening to everything they had to do was tiring, people were usually not aware of this but, photoshoots were tiring, extremely, extremely tiring. Kun didn't even know why it was so tiring but, it was probably because he had to look "perfect" for hours on end, smile for the cameras, pose in a hundred different ways with different outfits and sometimes even different hair colours, have those blinding, big lights pointed directly at him for what felt like days and...yeah now he knew why they were so tiring. 

He also had to consider the exhaustion creeping in his body, the lack of sleep, the fuzziness in his brain, or how his eyes filled with swimming black dots from time to time. Conclusion: there were a lot of factors to explain why Kun felt like death. 

While trapped in his thoughts, he didn't notice the manager speaking again until Dejun tapped his shoulder lightly to bring him back from that unknown world he liked to call mind. 

"If everything goes as planned, the shoot will end at 12 am. I know it's long, but you've done longer shoots that this one before, plus, you won't have to appear in every scene so you will have more time to rest than in other shoots. That's all, I'll leave you guys to practice," the man said before standing up from his place on the wooden floor of the studio. 

They too stood up and started warming up, stretching their muscles so that they wouldn't hurt later...too late, Kun thought. His muscles were already burning before he even got to the studio, his legs screaming at him with every step he gave, his arms felt like they were going to fall out and in general, he just wanted to pass out for a few hours, he'll be fine then. 

None of the other boys noticed the lack of...kuness in Kun, his usually bright smile smaller than usual and his face contorting in weird ways every time he would move fast, or slow, or move in general. 

The dance instructor turned on the music, the sound bouncing on the walls, resonating in his brain, making his vision blurry and black dots to swim in his eyes. He felt as if his head was pushing out of his skull, the organ pounding inside his head. He was dizzy, his muscles moving on autopilot but movements still sluggish. 

He needed to stop, really, really needed to stop. Nor his muscles or his brain was able to handle one more step. Apparently, some deity heard him as soon the music was stopped and the boys from the other units started to flood in. Kun sat heavily on the floor, didn't even make the attempt to move, just let himself drop there and sighed, finally, finally some silence, or at least, some sort of silence. 

He sat there as the others walked in. Xuxi noticed the discomfort in the oldest member and approached, quietly massaging Kun's shoulders, the older letting a sigh escape his lips, relief washing over his body. 

"You ok ge?" Xuxi asked, his tone soft. Kun nodded, not wanting to burden the younger when he knew they were all tired and stressed. He flashes a small smile to Xuxi just to convince the boy and soon, the music was starting again, everyone positioning themselves in their respective places. 

At some point, Kun didn't know when, cameras arrived at the dance studio, filming their every move. Behind the scenes footage, they said, and Kun just thought of how inconvenient these people were, honestly, couldn't they pick another day to film? another day when he didn't feel like absolute trash maybe? 

Despite his slight hatred towards the filming team and his body screaming for him to stop, he danced. Moved his body one way and the other, smiling when the camera was close...until he couldn't, his thoughts too muddled, his head too dizzy, his muscles too painful. 

Kun was trying, with all his might to walk properly, show a pretty face, one foot in front of the other but apparently, walking was the hardest task he had ever tried to perform in his life.

The voices of the other members and staff were muffled inside his cotton-filled brain. He felt the floor spinning beneath him, and in a futile attempt to catch himself, he ended up crashing with a confused Johnny. He held his head in his hands as if it would stop the mess his brain had become, to no avail, of course.

Johnny looked at him, confused as if he was seeing a new weird animal in the zoo. It was unusual to see the leader of the Chinese unit being so lost and so, the members, or at least the ones watching knew something was, surely, most definitely, wrong.

Ten and Sicheng quickly approached him, Johnny crouched next to the boy to see his face clearly. Renjun and Chenle stood close to them, just like the rest of the WayV members, the other units stared at the scene nervously. 

"Kun?! Kun, can you look at me please?" Ten said, the Thai accent seeping through his Chinese. Kun tried to look up, follow Ten's instructions but all he achieved was to get himself in a dizzier state, he tried telling Ten that he couldn't, to no avail, the only thing coming out of his mouth being pained groans. 

"I think we should just take him home," Sicheng said, looking at Ten who nodded and called Xuxi to carry the leader to the van. The tall boy quickly grabbed their leader and brought him to the car, the two Chinese dreamies and WayV members following close behind. Johnny stayed behind, trying to calm down the rest of the members. 

On the way to the van Xuxi saw as Kun's eyes closed slowly, how with every blink his eyes seemed to be heavier and despite Xuxi's best attempts at keeping the boy awake, Kun's eyes still closed. 

The ride back home was quiet, not peaceful, just quiet. Renjun and Chenle had convinced the WayV members to go with them and so there they were, all in Kun, Dejun and Yangyang's room. They had called a doctor whose answers to all their questions had been, "He's overworked, he just needs good rest, and he'll be fine." The doctor had left after that, leaving them with a sour taste in their mouths, guilt bubbling in their stomachs for noticing earlier just how tired their leader was. 

Eventually, as the sun fell upon the horizon and all that was left was darkness, Taeyong came to pick the dreamies up, checking up on the sleeping Kun as well. 

Ten had told them to go to sleep, that staying awake won't make Kun wake up faster but still, even after pronouncing those words, they all stayed there, in that small room. 

At some point, they fell asleep. Yangyang was curled up against the leader's body, Dejun was sleeping at the foot of the bed, making it hard for Yangyang to uncurl. Xuxi and Sicheng fell asleep in chairs beside the older's bed, their necks crooked weirdly, it would sure hurt them when they wake up, Ten thought. Kunhang had fallen asleep while hugging Yangyang but was now almost on the floor, his arm hanging at the edge and leg dangerously approaching the floor. 

Ten was the only one awake, too worried for their leader to sleep, plus, he had to take care of other 5 oversized babies. Hours passed like that, and soon, the clock marked 1:00. Ten sighed and just when he was about to fall asleep, he heard a groan coming from the bed. His eyes shot open only to find Kun's eyes staring back at him. The boy quickly stood up from the chair he had been sitting approached Kun, careful to not wake up the others. 

He sat in the bed's corner, avoiding Dejun's feet. 

"Hi sleepyhead," he asked, a playful tone yet worry evident in his words. 

Kun laughed, a bright smile adorning his face, "Hi," he replied.

"Are you feeling better?" Ten asked. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok. Feeling much better actually," Kun said, smiling when he noticed the sleeping boys surrounding him. 

Ten smiled back and cleaned a rebel tear that escaped his eyes. Kun sat up on the bed to this, a worried expression decorating his features. 

"You ok?" the leader asked, his hand caressing the younger's cheek. 

"You don't get to hide your problems that way gege. You can't just faint mid practice and expect me to be ok! You have no idea how worried I was, you just don't do shit like that, I'm here to talk if you need, I'm always here...we are always here..." he drifted off, tears now running freely down his cheeks and his hand grabbing onto Kun's with a strong grip. 

Kun was surprised at the sudden outburst of the youngest but soon, smiled at him. He nodded and cleaned the other's tears with his free hand. 

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll tell you if something like this ever happens again, ok?" the leader said, using the softest and sweetest tone he could manage. 

Ten nodded furiously, making Kun laugh brightly. "Promise?" Ten's small voice resonated across the room while he stuck his pinky finger out, just like a little kid would. 

Kun cooed at this and entangled his finger with the other boy's. "Promise," he repeated, getting a small smile from the youngest. "Come here," he said, hugging Ten tightly. They managed to make a space in the cramped bed and soon, fell asleep, surrounded by other 5 boys whom they had come to call family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it 💜
> 
> You see? Two updates in a row, be proud hahah 
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings 💜


	19. In this ocean (Winwin angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request byy: 황 민영 
> 
> Hey! I would really like to request a Sucheng-centric story. I am not really familiar with NCT (I'm an ARMY lol), but I am passing on a friend's request. The plot could based on OT21 NCT, where Sicheng gets injured or left behind after a performance, and gets found after some time by a staff member who informs the other members. He could be terrified or crying, I'll leave the rest to you. All the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-  
> ...  
> I know this is not exactly the request but I realized only when I had finished ☹ me sowy 
> 
> I still hope you like it. I know it's really short and not how I usually write, but...enjoy?

It was of common knowledge that Sicheng wasn't the most extroverted human being on planet Earth. 

It was also common knowledge that interacting with other human beings for too long was dangerous, especially, if it wasn't his members. 

Every time someone would approach him, get to close, grab too harsh or even breathe too hard, he would have this urge to crawl out of his skin and hide behind one of the other members and never appear again.

Correction: hide behind either Xuxi or Jaehyun, the boys being tall and safe enough for him to disappear. 

He was currently applying that technique, Xuxi's tall figure standing in front of him covering his body from the huge crowd that was entering the MAMA venue, and in that second, he was truly considering just never appearing in public again. 

He had been fine. He was always fine when it came to this type of award shows. It didn't include too much interaction, it was just about going to the dressing room with his members, performing, seating with the other boys and that was it, no more drama, he was ready for that. 

What he was not ready for was them staying in the cramped van waiting for their turn, or the crowd surrounding the cars. He hadn't expected the long wait, nor the fact that they had to walk inside the venue to perform, walk while being surrounded not only by other idols but by fans and staff and so, so many people. 

He was being whiny, and he knew it but as the itchy, consuming feeling in his chest expanded and his urge to escape his own body grew, his rational part drowned into a soft lullaby instead of the booming voice it usually was. 

Despite his best attempts of calming down, his body still flinched at every touch, his figure leaning closer to Xuxi's by the minute. He could hear the fans screaming and the staff telling them to move fast, doing nothing but increasing his anxiety. 

An eternity had passed -at least in the boy's mind- and, they were finally, finally inside the damned venue.

With more space to move and fewer fans around, idols and staff started to disperse into the large area. Sicheng had thought that this whole plan was of the sole purpose of keeping them away from big crowds for, you know, a sanitary emergency?!

Seeing the large crowds that they had just crossed through, Sicheng concluded that most people hadn't got the memo. 

If he was guessing correctly, he wasn't the only idol or human being affected by this, seeing as some of the youngest members of most groups pulled out of the crowd as pale as sheets.

Only then, while staring at the other groups and their members, did he notice the shaking in his hands and his hitching breath. He inhaled deeply, trying to regain his composure. He had to go up the stage in 20 minutes, and a smile had to be on his face, not tears.

...wait. Tears?

When? Huh? 

A mess. That is how Sicheng would describe his mind in that second, a complete and absolute mess.

He hadn't even noticed tears had started spilling from his eyes until the dampness was too much for his cheeks to handle and his shirt became their refuge. His fingers rushed to his cheek's aid, wiping the tears away as fast as they could. His poor eyes were blurry, and the faces he had been staring at just seconds ago were suddenly a coloured mess. 

He reached for Xuxi's body, only to find that the tall boy was not there anymore. His hands slapped the air in a desperate search for his dongsaeng's arm, the muscles nowhere to be found. 

He turned around, eyes frantically searching for a saviour of the panic bubbling in his chest only to find nothing and no one to act as his hero. 

His legs started moving without his brain's permission, and soon, he found himself in an area of the venue he was not familiar with. 

His back hit the white wall, and as his tired legs gave out, so did his pained lungs. 

His red lips opened, desperately begging for air, only for coughs to leave. He has suddenly submerged again in this sea of people, and all he could do was hope that the waves didn't drown him. 

His fingers clutched his shirt, hopelessly grabbing the black silk as his breath did nothing but speed up. The tears that started as a deliberate river were now a storm. His whines had become sobs, and his hands that were once only slightly shaking were now quaking with such force, Sicheng seriously thought his joints would give out. 

He cried and begged for someone, anyone, to save him from his misery. For someone, anyone, to make the shaking stop, to make the sobs disappear, to make his damn lungs work again because the tide was too strong and he was drowning. 

Another heavy sob left his lips. 

His fingers, up until then so gentle, were now scratching his delicate skin, making small, little red dots appear through his arm. Strangely enough, the physical pain seemed to make the strong waves stop crushing against him, and so, he continued. 

Nails digging deep in his skin, leaving red marks, proof that they had once been there. 

He kept his ministrations until he noticed a hand on top of his angry fingers. The hand, whose owner was unknown to Sicheng, removed his furious fingers, angry at the boy's lungs for not working and at his mind for self-sabotaging. 

The hand then became two, cupping his damp cheeks and cleaning his rebellious tears. The hands moved slowly, walking around his face as if they were dealing with an injured animal. 

His eyes then focused on something else that the hands and found two big, round black orbs staring right back at him. 

His breathing hitched, those eyes were familiar, yet his brain couldn't seem to make any connections. He breathed in and out, just like the hands were guiding him, and soon, the hands were no longer ownerless, the black eyes were no longer a simple reminder of someone he knew. 

The hands had an owner, so did the eyes, and that owner had a name, and his brain just seemed so excited to finally be able to connect the dots. 

Xuxi stared right back at him, Jaehyun by his side. 

Sicheng felt his mouth open in a gasp, bringing air to the needy organ that hid behind his ribs. He breathed just one more time, making sure that his mind wasn't playing any games, making sure oxygen was actually reaching him. 

Xuxi's hands had not moved away from his tear-stained cheeks, just like his eyes had not stopped watching his every feature, looking for any show of distress. 

Sicheng's hand was the one raising now, reaching for Xuxi's arm, and finally, the same arm he had so desperately looked for just some minutes ago was now in his hands, this time, his skin touched the younger's skin, and a wave of relief washed over him. 

He breathed in, and then out, closing his eyes and letting the waves calm down. He raised his head and just like someone would pull their head out of the water to breathe after being close to drowning, he finally breathed again. 

Xuxi and Jaehyun did too, seeing as the terrified look abandoned his eyes and their friend was alright, he would be ok, they just had to be by his side, and never leave again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? hehehe  
> As I said before, I'm sorry if it's not really what you wanted :(  
> I'm also sorry for uploading late, in my defence I uploaded two consecutive requests before soo...yes 😐
> 
> Remember that comments give me life hehe so they're kindly appreciated. 
> 
> Point is los comentarios me dan ganas de vivir porque esas me faltan 🤷♀️
> 
> I JUST NOTICED HOW SHORT THIS IS *GASP* I'm sowwy ☹
> 
> N e wayz...
> 
> You nice, keep going!
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings 💜


	20. ANNOUNCEMENT

Ahem...

First, I'm sorry for not updating:(

I'm writing 2 stories rn and my plan was to do like one week this book, one week the other one and so on but...I haven't updated this one nor the other one. 

Point is my motivation to live has gone to 0 so I'm really trying to write but updates might take more time, so I'm sorry about that. 

Conclusion: updates will be a lot slower for some time until I get my shit together hehe

Luv you beautiful human beings 💜💜


	21. Maybe (Eric angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request by: Shootbangbang
> 
> Hi! Can you please make an Eric-Centric (The Boyz) story? Like, the other members /accidentally/ avoiding him or not paying attention to him... like it's been going on for days and he (eric) ends up getting really sick but the accidentally left him at the studio so he had to no choice but to walk home in the rain (something like that!) (and he can end up being hospitalized, too) then they (the members) will realize what they are doing and feel really really guilty (happy ending tho!) Thank you! ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for requesting this!!  
> This is only the first part of this request cause....I wanted heheheh
> 
> I hope you like it :)

"Hey, hyung!" Eric's voice resonated against the walls of the living room. 

Hyunjae made a non-committal hum, welcoming the youngest into the room. 

Eric's smile faltered. 

From five hyungs in the room, only one had acknowledged his presence and, even that acknowledgement had been vague and uninterested. 

Once upon a time, all five of them would've welcomed him, all five of them would've flashed a smiled at him and invited him to do something with them...now, now it seemed like he wasn't even there. 

He tried not to show his disappointment, tried not to make such a big deal out of nothing but, it was hard when those who he considered family ignored him. 

It was not the first time this had happened, it had been going on for _weeks_ now, and Eric didn't know what he had done wrong for his hyungs to suddenly treat him like this. He wanted nothing but for them to hug him and treat him just like they've been treating him for the past 4 years. 

Obviously, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. 

He sat on the couch, next to Jacob, expecting the boy to be the sweet, comforting presence he's always been. He wanted the older boy to wrap an arm around his shoulder, just like he always does. He wanted him to ruffle his hair and ask him how his day was because...because...he didn't even know _why_ he wanted his hyung to do that, he just wanted it, _needed_ it.

The arm around his shoulder never came. The "How was your day?" never reached his ears. The hand in his hair never met his head, and he was sad, just so _sad_ because he just wanted his hyung, his brother, his family, he wanted sweet words and warm hugs, he just wanted it _all back_.

He wanted...he wanted to cry. 

He stood up, the sudden movement making his head spin. He opened his mouth to croak an explanation for his sudden retreat, but when he noticed that none of the boys in the room had spared a glance his way, he decided against it. 

_They wouldn't care anyway._

He dragged his feet back to his room and dropped his body on the blue bed that the boy called his. He could hear the birds outside his window, mocking him, showing off their happiness, the happiness he didn't quite know how to reach without his hyungs there. 

His eyes danced, analyzing the white roof that he had become so familiar with in the past weeks. 

He knew that on the left, the little dots formed a happy face. On the right, there was a lady with an umbrella. If he moved his eyes a bit more, he could see a dog, then another happy face and, like that, his roof was filled with little figures and imaginary drawings. 

The figures suddenly became blurry, leaving him with a mess of mixed faces and images and only then did he notice the tears running down his face. 

His arm moved in front of his eyes as if it was trying to protect him from seeing the all-consuming sadness that overwhelmed him. His arm acted like a shield against the blurry images and harsh words, or rather, the lack of words. It was a shield against the heavy silence and the lack of warmth but, his mind wouldn't let him have it. 

Soon, the fake safety that his arm provided was gone, leaving him with nothing but a dull pain in his head and an empty feeling in his chest.

He didn't stop the tears from falling even as his shield disappeared. He let them fall freely, not worried if one of his roommates entered because maybe like that, maybe and only maybe, then they would realize how much pain he was in. Maybe, just maybe, they would hug him and tell him everything would be alright. 

But that -just like his hope of pulling out of this all-consuming darkness- was just a 'maybe', a simple, futile, _useless_ hope that wouldn't take him anywhere.

He lied there, the figures on the roof blurry, disfigured. The once happy faces were invisible through his tears. The bird's mocking outside was covered by the choked sob that left his lips and, then, just like that he became a sobbing mess. A curled ball on the soft mattress. A little boy in a big world. A _lonely_ boy in a broken world. 

If the others heard him, they didn't care, for none of them approached, not a knocking on the door, not _one_ concerned face, nothing, nothing, _nothing._

His cries didn't stop until his eyes shut close. He didn't fight it, the exhausting feeling overcoming him. He wanted nothing but to be swallowed by dreamland, where his hyungs still loved him and where he didn't feel like a burden.

He woke up confused. His head pounding and eyes stinging, which wasn't unusual for how he had gone to sleep but, he knew that it was neither the headache nor the stingy eyes that woke him up from his date with Morpheus. There was something else he couldn't quite pinpoint in his half-asleep state. 

...

His lunch rushed back up his throat, spilling over his blue comforter and his black pants. 

_At least now he knew what was bothering him._

A groan came out of his mouth. A mix of pain, discomfort and overall _disgust_ over the situation coming out of his mouth, all expressed in one cry.

Now, he wasn't only mentally and emotionally miserable, but also dirty and sick... _fantastic_. 

He looked at the clock beside his bed. Six-thirty. It wasn't too late, the other members were probably still awake and considering Younghoon was nowhere to be seen, they were probably all still in the living room. 

Now, all he had to do was reach his phone and call his hyungs so that someone could help him out of the mess he had become. His shaky hands picked up his phone, a text message from Juyeon was the first thing that appeared on his screen. 

He opened the message, curious as to why his hyung would text him while being in the dorm. 

"We went out."

Eric stared at the message, reloading the page as if that would make another message magically appear on the screen. He could feel tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. 

...he wouldn't let them fall, wouldn't let them see just how much of an effect they had on him. He had already cried before for stupid things, he needed to _grow up_ and stop being a crybaby. 

He cleaned the few rebel tears that had escaped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He sniffed and tried to focus on anything but the empty feeling appearing in his chest. 

Carefully, he carried his legs so that they were hanging at the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath and stood up, dizziness and nausea overwhelming him the second his feet touched the carpeted floor. 

He could feel the liquid substance running down his legs, his stomach doing somersaults, and his brain trying to escape the bony prison some liked to call skull. 

To summarize: he felt _gross_ , in every sense of the word. 

To spare the poor white carpet he was standing in, his last efforts went onto moving his body to the bathroom. The action proved to be one of the heaviest, most exhausting tasks he's ever tried to perform. 

When his feet touched the cold, tile floor, a wave of relief washed over his pained body. His hands made contact with the sink, and he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Pale skin and dark eye bags greeted him. Exhaustion evident in his every feature, even to him. 

He took a deep breath, then two, his eyes feeling heavier by the second. He knew he had to take off his soiled pants and take a shower or something but, the Earth seemed to be rotating faster than it had been a few minutes ago and so, he decided the smartest option was to stay still until it passed. 

In a few minutes, the floor had stopped spinning, and his stomach dancing to an invisible melody. He slipped out of his black trousers, leaving the dirty piece of clothing on the floor, and just like them, the rest of his clothing was also discarded on the tiled surface. 

He turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up. He sat heavily on the rim of the bathtub and placed his head on his hands. The tears he had previously been so adamant of keeping inside his eyes, were now running down his cheeks. A shuddering breath left his lips. 

He's craving for someone to hug him, to pat his back and whisper sweet words.

He knew that wasn't going to happen. 

He was alone in that empty home because even when his hyungs _were_ physically there, he still felt _alone_. His chest still hurt, his hands still shook, _cold_ because there was no one to take them and carefully caress them. 

He stepped in the shower, wincing as the movement caused a sharp pain in his stomach. A small, desperate whine left his mouth as his body doubled over, a futile attempt of making the pain disappear. 

There, doubled over, white under his feet, water running down his back, he noticed that the physical pain was more tolerable than the one he felt deep, deep, inside his heart, burning him inside-out like a wildfire that no one knew how to stop. 

Maybe the pain had always been there; _he just hadn't noticed._

Maybe the wildfire had started as a small spark; _it had just needed more oxygen to really light up._

If he was being honest, he wasn't _that_ surprised. He was expecting it, the inevitable moment when they would get tired of him, who wouldn't?

He was obnoxious and loud. He was a burden, a dead weight, and it was only about time they too saw what he saw every day in the mirror. 

He sighed, standing straight and letting the water run down his head, embracing his figure, running down his stomach, his legs, ending finally on his toes. More tears escaped his eyes as pain shot through his body. He pressed his hand against his mouth, muffling the ugly, heartbreaking sob that left his lips. 

He bit the skin on his hand as black dots swam in his vision. The world, just like before, spun around him. The hand on his mouth travelled to his head, the other to the wall, preventing the imminent fall. 

His support didn't last long, his fingers quickly slipping from the wall and his eyes closing against his will. 

He stopped fighting it. The overwhelming pain, the crushing sadness, the burning cold, he stopped fighting them. 

_Maybe closing his eyes wasn't such a bad idea._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaah this took SO LONG to write, like, I've been writing this thing for a week now T-T 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed 💜
> 
> Comments are my main source of life so...leave them if you'd like heheh
> 
> Luv you beautiful human beings 💜💜💜💜

**Author's Note:**

> Insta: @itookjiminsjams


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